My Thoughtful Spot

fractured funny bone

Every once in a while, something comes a long that is completely ridiculous but that cracks me up consistently. Example: Napoleon Dynamite. Stupid but funny.

Recently I've seen a new commercial on tv that has done the same thing. Things that fall into this category of funny usually leave me scratching my head with the first viewing, but become hilarious with the second or third.

I can't really say what makes this funny. The midget cowboys? The tiny cows? The fact that they're doing backup vocals in chipmunk voices?

grey's: season 5, episode 1

I haven't watched Grey's Anatomy in quite some time. Almost a year, in fact. I liked the show and used to comment regularly on it and list quotes and observations that had meaning to me. I'm not a resident any more (hooray!), so now I have time to watch it. And I'm not living an actual resident's life, so I have more tolerance to watch a show about this in my free time. I hope the episodes still have the same meaning to me as a young surgeon. Here are my thoughts on the season premiere of season 5.

• I loved how Christina and Meredith had a slew of interns following them around. At one point, Christina barks, "Charts!" and they're off and running to grab the charts of their patients. Like good little interns. (I plead the 5th as to whether or not I have done something similar.)
• "Interns don't touch the face. A plastic surgeon touches the face." -- Sarah Beth (Bernadette Peters).
• "Wanna know how I teach? I'm like a guru. They come to me for help and I gently guide them on the path to truth and wisdom." -- McSteamy
• "What kind of moron are you? Are you a special moron from the Island of Complete and Utter Morons? (Aside) Truth and wisdom." -- McSteamy 
• "A pen trach? Hot." -- Christina 
• One of the patients had a concussion and was asking the same questions every 30 seconds. That's not an exaggeration and not that uncommon. But it usually resolves.
• "Army Sergeant Badass. Did something crazy with a pen on a guy's throat." -- Christina
• "I'm your attending. You can't tell me to shut up." -- McSteamy (I've told attendings to shut up. And I was told the same exact thing.)
• Christina's patient died because she couldn't repair a tear in one of the renal vessels. In that situation, you stop the bleeding by tying off the whole damn vessel. Sure, you have to take out the kidney, but being alive with one kidney is better than being dead with two.

I'm not sure when they started doing this, but I really like how the cameras focus in on the eyes when they're in the OR. When only two eyes are visible across the table, it's truly amazing how much can be expressed with one wordless glance.

One of the side plots involved a trauma patient who's insurance was expiring at midnight. There was pressure to skip diagnostic tests and get to the OR before the insurance expired so he wouldn't "go bankrupt." This little political statament? Total. Bullshit. A patient could be in the hospital for days and we wouldn't know what insurance she had. Why? Because it didn't f-ing matter. We treated her, and all those like her, the only way we treated every patient -- the best way we knew how. There is actually a federal law that mandates that every trauma patient get treated for their injuries, regardless of insurance. I am irritated at the very political statement they were making, with fiction backing it up, five weeks before the election.

Another exciting development is the appearane of Kevin McKidd, playing US Army trauma surgeon Major Hunt. I first encountered this amazing actor in the HBO series "Rome," in which he was amazing. After two seasons there, he moved onto "Journeyman," which was killed by the writers' strike. So happy to run across him here!

project runway 5: week 1

My secret TV shame is Project Runway. I have religiously watched the last four seasons and couldn't wait for this one to start. I'm not sure why I like it so much, but there are some really talented people out there. Mostly I think I enjoy watching them create art while they mix in a little drama -- as only artists can.

Based on only one show where they have to focus on 16 designers, it's hard to get a handle on their personalities, especially when they are trying to make garments out of things you buy at a grocery store. But there are most definitely some people I can talk about already.

This is Blayne. Blayne is a total douche. He is annoying as hell, but not in a Christian or Jeffrey interesting way of being annoying. He thinks he is God's gift to fashion and has an overinflated view of his body. Oh, yes, he obsessivley tans and I think my arms are bigger than his. So when he gets melanoma in 20-30 years, I hope he doesn't come to me to cure him. So let's move onto his piece for the challenge. I say "piece" because I'm not really sure what it is besides hideous.

He called it "girlicious." I think she's got a diaper to cover her crotch. I'm not entirely sure. ::shudder::

This is Jerell and I got a pretty good feeling from him. Doesn't seem to have a super huge ego and is talented, as evidenced by his design. He also hates Blayne, so that got him extra points with me.

Now onto who got cut. There were two scary designs and I think they chose the wrong one.

 #1     #2

Let's talk about #1. It's made of garbage bags that have not been completely opened up and the edges stitched together. She could have done so much more with this, even if it didn't involve color. What about metallics? If you're going for something hard and edgy, what about nails?

On to #2. Looks kinda like the bride from the murderer in I Know What you Did Last Summer. Yeah, scary. The trench needed a lot more shaping and he needed to ax the hood. But underneath was a dress that was cute and almost ethereal. This was designed by Jerry and they kicked him off. I think they made the wrong decision. What do you think?

Photos courtesy of BravoTV.

good day

"There's this person in my head. She is brilliant, capable. She can do chest tubes and craniotomies. She can run a code without freaking out. She's a really good surgeon. Maybe even a great surgeon. She's me... only so much better.

It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. I was a good doctor. Even when it was hard. I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought, 'I can't do this. I can't do this alone.' But I closed my eyes and imagined myself doing it. And I did. I blocked out the fear and I did it."

--Meredith Gray, from Grey's Anatomy

seared onto my brain like it's been branded

All of the tv's in the hospital are connected to the same set of channels. It's like an expanded basic cable. No premium channels. No way. Sh*t, even the vets get HBO at the VA. Some of the cable channels include AMC and TCM, which I usually end up watching, ESPN, Discovery, ABC Family, and several Spanish stations.

In the middle of all these are the Newborn Channels; one in English and one in Spanish. These are sort of like public service announcements that are made by the hospital for the patients who have just given birth and talk about things like car seat safety and how to give a baby a bath. Good idea, no?

I was flipping around, looking desparately for something decent to watch, when I came onto the Newborn Channel. Right there, magnified, in the middle of the screen, was a mom who had just given birth to twins and had one hanging off each boob. I usually think it's a very beautiful thing. Furthermore, I completely support breastfeeding when at all possible because it's better for the baby's immune system. But that was not an image I was prepared to see when I was looking for South Park or Family Guy reruns. And now when I close my eyes, I see a giant boob with a baby on it. I would try to take a picture of it with my phone the next time the loop of programming starts again, but now I'm afraid of what else I might see.

I think my ovaries are hiding behind my pancreas now.

it's still good tv

A few days ago, I was able to sit down and watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I haven't seen an episode in almost a whole year, but I've missed it very much. In every show, there was some exchange of words, some theme, or some situation that I could really relate to as a female, a surgeon, and a resident. This one was no exception. I found it interesting that I saw this show before my unexpected night of hell in the hospital where I cried "uncle." Here are some quotes that really struck me this time:

"Surgeons don't need to ask for help. Because they're tougher... Surgeons are cowboys; rough around the edges. Hardcore. At least, that's what they want you to think." -- Meredith

"What? He fell 12,000 ft. without a parachute? Thank you!" -- Christina, who was bored at the time

"He's an intern. It's like half my job torturing interns." -- McSteamy

"Dude, your job kinda sucks, huh?" -- fiance of patient

"Being aware of your crap and overcoming your crap are two very different things." -- Christina

"I'm not hardcore. I'm not hardcore enough for this." -- Izzy

"Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn't just about being tough. It's about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission not to be hardcore for once. You don't have to be tough every minute of every day. It's okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do. As long as you choose your moments wisely." -- Meredith

::giggle::

Wait til I tell everyone about this! Then I'll feel important with*out* drinking. That'll be weird. -- Homer Simpson, in the one where Ned temporarily moves out of Springfield

thank you, come again!

In the marketing frenzie that accompanies every major movie release, the creators of The Simpsons have yet again revealed their genius by taking it to a new level. They have contracted with 7-11 and converted twelve stores across the country into real Kwik-E-Marts. Being the Simpsons fanatics we are, we made a trek to the one closest to us in Los Angeles. Hey, it only took us an hour to get there...

As we were approaching the off ramp, we saw some spotlights swirling around in the darkness. No, that can't be for the Kwik-E-Mart. It just can't. Must be a neaby car dealership or something. Oh, but it was. Drawing more and more people into the line that was reached the sidewalk outside this particular Kwik-E-Mart. The funny thing was that almost everyone else in line was saying the same thing about those damn spotlights. Who knew so many other people in Los Angeles had nothing else better to do on a Saturday night?

  See? Spotlights.

One of the movie artists drew a picture for the store! Cool!

And just in case you were unclear on the rules...

We each got a Squishee and a pink donut. Well, some of us got more than one pink donut, but after eating one decided to save it for later. I tried to cut the sweetness of my donut with my Squishee. That really didn't work too well. But we were already out of the store, so I couldn't go back and buy water! Next door was a seedy liquor store (you know, the kind kept open by the alcoholics). They had water hidden in the back. The scary thing is that Daniel is already josing for another donut and more Woo Hoo! Blue Vanilla Squishee...

P.S. More pictures to come!

target audience?

I was watching a re-run of South Park tonight. It was the one where Korn plays at the Halloween festival and they are haunted by pirate ghosts. At one of the commercial breaks was an extended ad for praise music, as in call now to receive these CDs. "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High" and "Awesome God" were just a couple of the featured songs.

At the end of the commercial it dawned on me that they played this on a break for South Park. Just what kind of person watches South Park and listens to praise music? Or were they trying to convert the sinners?? I wonder how many orders that spot generated...

grey's musings -- the one where we meet george's dad

Another rerun of Grey's last night. This is one of my favorite episodes this year because it was pretty funny. The whole thing with Izzy and Alex referring to themselves in the third person still made me laugh.

• "You're probably not going to want to be friends with me because the sheer intensity of my happiness is going to make your teeth hurt." -- Meredith
• "Ah! Excellent! My invaluable intern. Is it bring a hot blonde to work day? No one told me..." -- McSteamy
• "Why are you being modest? Modest looks weird on you." -- George to Christina
• "What the hell is going on with the men in this hospital?" -- Addison
• "People in high powered careers. I get that. But they should think twice before having kids." --Meredith
• "Why bother having a kid if you're just going to see it on evenings and weekends. Why not just get a cat?" -- Meredith
• "Last week Izzy was digging through crap, this week Izzy is fondling man boobs." -- Izzy

In this episode one of the side plots was following a little girl who got hit by a car. She had "internal bleeding" from her liver or some other solid organ. Then they took her straight to the OR, do not pass go, do not collect $200. That is how this situation would have been handled about 15 years ago. Nonoperative management of these kinds of injuries actually originated in pediatric patients. They get closely monitored in the ICU for any signs of continued bleeding. They may get transfused two units or so if they need it, but if it's any more, then they go to the OR. Would not have happened that way.

And the scene where George's dad was getting an "endoscopy" made me laugh. They weren't using an endoscope; it's about the diameter of a marker. The Chief was holding a bronchoscope... for looking at the airways and down into the lungs. Silly props department...

The best news of all came at the end of the episode. We get a new one next week!!! :-)