My Thoughtful Spot

warm up post

Yeah... so... I'm around. Hee. Here's a little exercise that will warm up the writing part of my brain again, courtesy of Dawn. Thanks, girlie!

1. What movie villain scared you as a child?
My mom was pretty good about not letting us watch scary things. Cuz she knew they would give us nightmares and therefore prevent her from sleeping. I don't remember a specific movie villain I was fearful of, but I do remember watching "Return of the Jedi" at the theaters and being FREAKED OUT at the monster in Jabba's pit. Generally I was afraid of the monsters who lived and partied under my bed and the owl outside my window that sounded like a ghost.

2. Name 3 things you can't do without lately:
Nightguard (I do grind my teeth at night!), Farmville (ha, that joke's on me), episodes of "The Dog Whisperer. That guy has the biggest set of cahones I've ever seen.

3. Do you take vitamins?
I take a calcium supplement and extra fiber. Otherwise nah.

4. How much of your family history do you know?
I know quite a bit about my mom's side of the family. Descendant from Prussian nobility in the 1600s, my ancestor fled to Ireland due to religious persecution and then made it to the southern states. "We" even have a castle and cathedral that I will see someday! In the more recent past, my great great grandmother was the first registered midwife in New York state (healing runs in the family?). I know almost nothing about the ancestry on my dad's side.

5. What everyday thing do you find utterly magical?
I'm going to have to go with Dawn and say my DVR. It completely changed my life.

6. What color is your couch?
Moss.

7. How many phone numbers do you still know by heart?
Maybe about a dozen? That includes several extensions in the hospital that I call regularly. But don't ask me to call any member of my family (except Daniel) without my cell phone.

8. What is the best way to beat the Summer heat?
Air conditioning or poolside with a cool drink.

9. What website do you spend the most time on?
Thanks to Farmville, Facebook. grrrrr Farmville.

10. How many songs are on your iPod?
2519. I would like to add 3 more.

11. Have you ever flown first class?
Just a few times and that was only because Daniel often has cases where he flies a lot and racks up the frequent flier points. Cashin in, baby!

12. Do you read the comments others have left on a blog or Facebook post before you?
Depends on how many there are. More than six, probably not. But recently on Facebook with all manner of political posts, I've been reading more. It's amazing how much you can find out about a person by how they discuss politics and how insulting they can be to their so-called "friends."

13. What is the furthest trip you've ever taken by car?
Santa Cruz, CA to Woburn, MA. We were supposed to end up in Sommerville, MA, but it was dark when we got there and we got lost. So we went to the nearest hotel and crashed.

14. What is the oldest item in your freezer?
Hee. I dunno. I rarely put anything in the freezer. Maybe the fish food?

15. When do you iron: all at once after doing your laundry? On an as-needed basis? Never?
I try to buy items that don't require ironing. It makes me really, REALLY hot and uncomfortable. I have mad ironing skillz, tho, so can do it if necessary. But usually if I have an item that needs to be pressed, I send it to the dry cleaners for pressing.

16. What color are your toenails usually?
I don't have a usual for toenail color. They can be a deep, blood-red, or bright green or aqua, or girly pink. Just depends on my mood and the season.

17. When did you last see fireworks?
January 30. At EPCOT. With Dawn and Daniel. (look like a familiar answer, Dawn?)

18. What do you love most about where you currently live?
Amazing shopping. Accessibility to major league baseball and Disneyland.

19. What makes you follow a particular blog?
Good, intelligent writing. Posts that make me think.

20. Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
Nah. I'm not much of a broadway fan.

1. What movie villain scared you as a child?
My mom was pretty good about not letting us watch scary things. Cuz she knew they would give us nightmares and therefore prevent her from sleeping. I don't remember a specific movie villain I was fearful of, but I do remember watching "Return of the Jedi" at the theaters and being FREAKED OUT at the monster in Jabba's pit. Generally I was afraid of the monsters who lived and partied under my bed and the owl outside my window that sounded like a ghost.

2. Name 3 things you can't do without lately:
Nightguard (I do grind my teeth at night!), Farmville (ha, that joke's on me), episodes of "The Dog Whisperer. That guy has the biggest set of cahones I've ever seen.

3. Do you take vitamins?
I take a calcium supplement and extra fiber. Otherwise nah.

4. How much of your family history do you know?
I know quite a bit about my mom's side of the family. Descendant from Prussian nobility in the 1600s, my ancestor fled to Ireland due to religious persecution and then made it to the southern states. "We" even have a castle and cathedral that I will see someday! In the more recent past, my great great grandmother was the first registered midwife in New York state (healing runs in the family?). I know almost nothing about the ancestry on my dad's side.

5. What everyday thing do you find utterly magical?
I'm going to have to go with Dawn and say my DVR. It completely changed my life.

6. What color is your couch?
Moss.

7. How many phone numbers do you still know by heart?
Maybe about a dozen? That includes several extensions in the hospital that I call regularly. But don't ask me to call any member of my family (except Daniel) without my cell phone.

8. What is the best way to beat the Summer heat?
Air conditioning or poolside with a cool drink.

9. What website do you spend the most time on?
Thanks to Farmville, Facebook. grrrrr Farmville.

10. How many songs are on your iPod?
2519. I would like to add 3 more.

11. Have you ever flown first class?
Just a few times and that was only because Daniel often has cases where he flies a lot and racks up the frequent flier points. Cashin in, baby!

12. Do you read the comments others have left on a blog or Facebook post before you?
Depends on how many there are. More than six, probably not. But recently on Facebook with all manner of political posts, I've been reading more. It's amazing how much you can find out about a person by how they discuss politics and how insulting they can be to their so-called "friends."

13. What is the furthest trip you've ever taken by car?
Santa Cruz, CA to Woburn, MA. We were supposed to end up in Sommerville, MA, but it was dark when we got there and we got lost. So we went to the nearest hotel and crashed.

14. What is the oldest item in your freezer?
Hee. I dunno. I rarely put anything in the freezer. Maybe the fish food?

15. When do you iron: all at once after doing your laundry? On an as-needed basis? Never?
I try to buy items that don't require ironing. It makes me really, REALLY hot and uncomfortable. I have mad ironing skillz, tho, so can do it if necessary. But usually if I have an item that needs to be pressed, I send it to the dry cleaners for pressing.

16. What color are your toenails usually?
I don't have a usual for toenail color. They can be a deep, blood-red, or bright green or aqua, or girly pink. Just depends on my mood and the season.

17. When did you last see fireworks?
January 30. At EPCOT. With Dawn and Daniel. (look like a familiar answer, Dawn?)

18. What do you love most about where you currently live?
Amazing shopping. Accessibility to major league baseball and Disneyland.

19. What makes you follow a particular blog?
Good, intelligent writing. Posts that make me think.

20. Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
Nah. I'm not much of a broadway fan.

celebrity look alike

Like much of the world I have a Facebook account. If you do and you're on there at least a little bit, you'll notice that different activities or questions get passed through that community. Most of them are silly (most of fb is silly anyway) but sometimes I like to play along just to make life a little more amusing.

The most recent "game" has been posing a celebrity look-alike as your profile picture. This is something I can easily do as I've been told I look like two celebrities pretty frequently. I think most of the time it has to do with the fact that my hair is reddish and I've got pale skin, so people make the connection.

The first celebrity I was compared with was Gillian Anderson, of "The X-Files" fame. Gosh, when that show was in it's hey-day I would hear that I look like her almost weekly.

See? We also both have very strong chins, which helps with the comparison. This is the photo on my profile now. One of my friends (who is a plastic surgeon) actually emailed me and said that I had a nice pic and that "I clean up pretty good." HA! I only wish it were me!

When I lived in Boston, one of my (many) jobs was working at a car rental counter at Logan. We got plenty of international tourists and one day these two Japanese young men rented a car from me. As soon as they entered the building, though, they saw me and started screaming "Scully! Scully!" I tried to assure them that I was not actually Gillian Anderson, but they could not be disuaded and insisted that they take their picture with me. First one then the other. So somewhere in Japan, these guys have a random photo of a Scully look-alike from their trip to the states.

"The X-Files" has been off the air for a long time and it's even been hard to find re-runs. So the "You look like so-and-so" declarations have dropped off for a long time. That is, until the show "Private Practice" has been around. Every once in a while, I hear that I look like "that doctor from 'Private Practce.'" That actress's name is Kate Walsh and I don't think I look like her as much as I do Gillian Anderson. But pale, red hair, etc.

To be honest, I take it as a huge compliment that I even remotely resemble either of these two completely stunning women.

Do you have a celeb look-alike? Put it on facebook!

missing: motivation

Right, so I've obviously been not posting. It's just been a tough week for me personally. My business continues to lie squarely in the "failing" column. I'm having body image/fat issues. Both of which combine to make ME feel like an utter failure and a complete drain on my small family.

I'm going on vacation on Saturday, which I'm excited about, of course. But I'm also kind of stressed about it. Whenever I go on vacation, I very easily gain at least five pounds. In a WEEK. That is just not an option this time. It can't happen. And if I'm not at work, I'm actually making less money, if that is even possible. So the vacation is a mixed blessing. I hope that I will be able to let some of these feelings go; I really will feel worse if I ruin an entire vacation.

I've got to get it together. Somehow.

no rest for the... wicked?

If you've been reading along with my Bikram challenge, I'm sure you've heard me allude to the fact that I've been a tad under the weather recently. Not flat-out-on-my-back sick, but sick enough that I have no excuse not to do stuff and just deal with it. I was hoping that this weekend was going to be restful but... it wasn't.

You know how things are. Life goes on. Stuff builds up during the week that you can't ignore and have to do on the weekend. Add that I was on call this weekend and made not two, but three trips up to the hospital this weekend, and I was on the go almost non-stop every day. (Each trip is about 20 miles, by the way.)

Saturday started off with yoga, of course, followed by an operation. It was supposed to go at 2:30, but didn't end up starting until 3:30 and I left the hospital at 5:00. Get home, rest a little bit, time for dinner and sleep.

Sunday was busier, so it was good that I was feeling better. Yoga first, then rounding on my patient from the day before. I'm the cleaning service for my office and while it's not time for a full cleaning (that's this weekend), I did need to vacuum. Then made a trip to Trader Joe's. Next I had to really spend some time on my saltwater tank at home; 90 minutes later, the water change was done and all parameters had been tested. BAM! Pager goes off; possible appy. It wasn't clear from the CT, so I really needed to examine him before making a decision to call in the surgical team. Back to work, examine, admit (no surgery, just obs), then home. By that time it was 6:30. Daniel wasn't feeling well, so I needed to figure something out for dinner.

I'd love to say that after work I'm going to go home and veg on the couch and really get started on the next book for my book club. But I'm starting my Christmas shopping tonight, since a sale is ending today.

How do you guys cope when you're under the weather? Suck it up, or baby yourself, or somewhere in between?

busy busy

Vegas +

Young Republican meeting +

Increased activity at work +

Three baseball games in a week +

Dinner medical meeting

Equals...

no blogging. Be back soon.

if anyone deserves a beating...

Yesterday I had to take my phone back to the Verizon store because it stopped recognizing my bluetooth. Not a good thing when you have a 20 mile commute and talking without a hands free device is now illegal in our nanny state.

As luck would have it, next to me at the service counter was a very chatty guy. He was going on and on about how much he hated his blackberry and that he was tired of all the media everywhere. Media at home. Media at work. Finally, I asked:

"What is it that you do?"

"I'm involved with interactive advertising."

"Oh. (pause) What exactly does that mean?"

"Advertising on the internet; banners, pop-ups, pop-overs, pop-unders, side pop ups. That sort of thing."

"And those ads that cover the page you actually want to look at and you can't get it to close?"

"Those use flash technology. But yes."

It was all I could do to keep from decking him. Bastard.

freedom

Every once in a while, I'll look down and realize that I don't have any pieces of equipment hanging off my waist.

I cannot describe how good it feels to be free from that damned electronic leash that makes my blood pressure and heart rate increase when it goes off. It will all end when I start my new job and I get a new leash, but I'm completely enjoying the freedom.

If only for the summer.

conservation of energy

I've been to a couple of yoga classes this week and was re-acquainted with something I had forgotten from my previous, limited experience with yoga.

At the end of each class, there is a variable amount of time that is left for "relaxation." It's usually five to ten minutes and is done in the "corpse" pose -- lying flat on your back with your arms at your sides, palms up. They don't usually say the name of the pose, for obvious reasons. Some instructors will let quiet music play and give you the time for self meditation. Others will do directed visualization exercises, where you walk through a field or forest or whatever. As the period of time draws to a close, you end up sitting in a cross-legged position and we exchange greetings of "namaste" with the instructor, which means "I am your humble servant."

Today, before the namaste, our instructor thanked us for sharing our energy with him. After ten minutes of walking through a desert to an oasis, I internally scoffed a bit at the new level of hippiness he took us to.

But this thought returned to me throughout the day... it haunted me really. I realized that he was giving a new term to something I already believe: that we affect each other every day by the attitudes we bring to our interactions. By the energy we bring. He was acknowledging the fact that we came to his class and our positive energy positively affected him.

We've all experienced both positive and negative energy. We have given and taken energy. Hopefully we give more than we take. (Because, let's face it, energy vampires suck. And I didn't invent that term.) I take it one step further because I believe, most of the time, we can control the kind of energy we give to others. Hopefully the good energy we give is returned to us. And if it's not, then hopefully we are strong enough to resist other's attempts to turn our positive energy into something negative. Hopefully we've learned to deflect it, like arrows bouncing off a shield. We'll all inevitably suffer from negative energy; when that does occur hopefully our friends will give us some of their positive energy to try to help us.

Even physicists have observed this transfer of energy in the physical world around us. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be changed from one form to another. So states the Law of Conservation of Energy. It only makes sense that this applies to us as well.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for sharing your energy with me. Thank you for giving me your energy in the form of kind comments. I hope my comments on your blogs can in some small way return the gesture.

Namaste

it's finally finished!

What a complete ordeal that whole thing was! I mean, seriously. The folks at typepad say the blog is ready, but it's not. Then it takes nearly a week to set up. I'm not nearly smart enough to even begin to comprehend the complexities involved in changing a subdomain, but come on. But despite all those little bumps in the road, we really up and running now... and I couldn't be more excited!

It's been so long since I've posted, so I'll just start with some random things that are flying through my sleep addled brain at the moment.

Last night I was on call. I expected it to be slightly busy, since my last two call nights were no hitters in terms of traumas or surgeries. So I had it coming. The excitement of the night came with a trauma patient who got shot at the base of the neck and was in "traumatic full arrest." Usually not a survivable thing. But we tried anyway. So, as soon as he hit the building I was cutting his chest open. No injury in there; it must be on the other side.

So while I was getting into the pericardium to inspect the heart and provide intrathoracic cardiac massage (the answer to chest compressions when you can actually see the heart), another female surgery resident was getting into the right chest. Tons of blood over there. So I grabbed the special knife and mallet used to cut across the sternum and we did a clamshell to get a better look at things. Think of it this way... draw a line across your nipples from side to side and lift UP. Then we saw the injury. Not survivable.

A few other minor things came in, so I got a few hours sleep. All day today, I've been at a symposium that celebrates one of our faculty members because he is retiring. It's really neat seeing old graduates and hearing stories about the old days in medicine.

So, if you've made the leap over to the new site, WELCOME! I hope I haven't lost anyone!

muscially speaking: march 11, 2008

It has been so incredibly nice outside for the last five days or so, that I don't want to sit in front of a computer unless I have to. It's almost like I went over to the thermostat for outside and adjusted it to precisely the temperature and humidity I wanted.

So I haven't been posting very much lately...

"Sun is shining, the weather is sweet
Make you want to move your dancing feet
To the rescue, here I am
Want you to know ya, where I stand"
-- Bob Marley, Sun is Shining