My Thoughtful Spot

christmas money flow

Last week, I wrote about the general way Daniel and I budget our money to make sure we don't go over, as such a concept has been very difficult for me to grasp in any meaningful way.

As we approach the holiday season, the idea of budgeting for gifts is hard for many, so I thought I'd again share the system that I developed for holiday shopping. And unlike the previous system, which was entirely Daniel's, this one is entirely mine.

Starting about one or two years ago (I must have early-onset Alzheimer's if I can't remember this), I carried our cash system into shopping. I pulled out business sized envelopes for each person on my list and wrote their names on them. I then put the amount of money we had decided to spend on them in the envelope, along with any gift ideas on a piece of scratch paper. I would carry the envelopes with me as I did my holiday shopping, and pay only with the cash in the envelope (change for tax is an allowable overage). Then the receipts for all purchases would go in the envelope. When I got home, I would write on the outside of the envelope the total I started with and subtracted the receipts from the day, to give a balance remaining, accessible with just a glance in a crowded store.

As I discovered last year, this system has a few drawbacks. One: you need to carry the envelopes with you almost all the time, since you never know when you're going to find the gift for said person. Two: all those envelopes in your purse take up a fair amount of space. Three: if there's a long line behind you, you don't want to spend a lot of time looking for the person's envelope and getting out the right amount of cash and change. The envelopes rattle around in your purse and the careful, logical order you put them in when you left your house quickly fall into a state of entropy during holiday shopping.

I made one little modification to this year's envelope system: the introduction of the accordion folder.

Slots for money, ideas, and receipts. Compact. Can turn it upside-down and nothing will fall out.

And the slots never change position. I can see it now: I'm in line for Kate, I flip open my folder and quickly go to her slot. No envelope flaps to open. I'm there. Give the cashier the money, collect receipt, close and I'm gone with present in hand.

I know there are organizers out there that fulfill a similar purpose, but this is much cheaper than a $25 journal you can get at Barnes & Noble. It's reusable, and therefore eco-friendly.

What system do you use for your holiday shopping? Do you have a system, or just wing it?  

no rest for the... wicked?

If you've been reading along with my Bikram challenge, I'm sure you've heard me allude to the fact that I've been a tad under the weather recently. Not flat-out-on-my-back sick, but sick enough that I have no excuse not to do stuff and just deal with it. I was hoping that this weekend was going to be restful but... it wasn't.

You know how things are. Life goes on. Stuff builds up during the week that you can't ignore and have to do on the weekend. Add that I was on call this weekend and made not two, but three trips up to the hospital this weekend, and I was on the go almost non-stop every day. (Each trip is about 20 miles, by the way.)

Saturday started off with yoga, of course, followed by an operation. It was supposed to go at 2:30, but didn't end up starting until 3:30 and I left the hospital at 5:00. Get home, rest a little bit, time for dinner and sleep.

Sunday was busier, so it was good that I was feeling better. Yoga first, then rounding on my patient from the day before. I'm the cleaning service for my office and while it's not time for a full cleaning (that's this weekend), I did need to vacuum. Then made a trip to Trader Joe's. Next I had to really spend some time on my saltwater tank at home; 90 minutes later, the water change was done and all parameters had been tested. BAM! Pager goes off; possible appy. It wasn't clear from the CT, so I really needed to examine him before making a decision to call in the surgical team. Back to work, examine, admit (no surgery, just obs), then home. By that time it was 6:30. Daniel wasn't feeling well, so I needed to figure something out for dinner.

I'd love to say that after work I'm going to go home and veg on the couch and really get started on the next book for my book club. But I'm starting my Christmas shopping tonight, since a sale is ending today.

How do you guys cope when you're under the weather? Suck it up, or baby yourself, or somewhere in between?

money flow

Not unlike many Americans, Daniel and I have had our issues with monthly budgeting and cash flow. Well, not so much Daniel. I have sort of always been that way, despite my best efforts to not spend money. But things come up that you don't expect and with me, this happens almost every month. Crap, I need new bras. Oops, forgot so-and-so's birthday; need to get a present. Time for my quarterly cut/color. Last summer's favorite pair of sandals have bit the dust.

After years of us trying different systems, we have finally found one that works. We're on an all cash basis. We still have credit cards for the things you need a credit card for (e.g., online purchases, airline tickets, hotel reservations). So I guess we're 95% cash basis.

We have decided on a monthly amount of cash that we use for everything: food, gas, movies, going out, haircuts, clothes, everything. That money gets put into a cash box that is locked. It takes a while to get the month's worth of cash in there because you can only take out $400 from an ATM at once. But once all that cash is in there, that's it. If we run out of money on the 25th, we run out. Eat food from whatever we have around the house. (I wouldn't be stranded on the side of the road with an empty gas tank, but you get the idea.) Sure, there have been some months where we needed to infuse just a bit more money to get to the end of the month, but it's usually not very much. We've been getting better every month.

This system has been in effect for over a year and I think it's working really well. Daniel is a genius for thinking of it. It was really hard for me to budget before; they were just numbers on a page and a little plastic card I handed the cashier. But now I have to hand over real money. $230? Ok. GULP. I can go into the cash box and count how much is left. Divide that amount by the number of days left in the month. Subtract out, physically, known expenses coming up. Come up with a daily allowed spending cap. I'm a very visual person and this really clicks in my head.

How do you budget? Make sure you don't go over your budget? What have you tried and found doesn't work for you?

itching to bake

They say you are either a chef or a baker. I don't know who "they" are, but they're right. I love baking and can't cook to save my life. I hate it. It completely stresses me out to have that many things going on at once, all expected to be done at the same time. I'm much better at focusing on one thing, or at least doing alternating things like letting something bake while I mix another dough. It makes sense if you look at what I do, also. When I operate, I have one thing to worry about -- the person right in front of me. I shouldn't be distracted by other things and need to be honed in on the task at hand. I'm apparently the same way in the kitchen.

Daniel has actually banished me from the kitchen when he's in there and if he needs help stirring something, he draws a square with his toe where I'm supposed to stand. Or makes me stir in the living room. I am also forbidden to use the knives. (Yes, I am aware of the irony.) I don't really even need to cook, anyway. It's been a while since I've documented it, but I have written about a few of Daniel's now-legendary holiday feasts. (I'll be sure to post his menus this year. Pictures might be pushing it, but I'll try.)

Because of residency, up to now, I would only be able to bake around Christmas time, and sometimes not even thn. I have a standard set of Christmas cookies that I like to do every year. The crowd favorite is the almond-raspberry biscotti dipped in chocolate. I'm hoping that my culinary adventures will become legendary, as Daniel's feasts have.

Recently, I have been dying to get back into my kitchen and just bake something already. I don't really know why, but I find myself going to my favorite baking site at least once a day, browsing recipies, mixes, bakeware, everything. And I'm making lists in my head about what I need. Which is a lot. heh.

Part of the problem is that most of the things that one bakes are inherently unhealthy. So I've resisted. But I don't know how much longer I can! I suppose I can give my creations away... anyone wanna spend some calories on cookies? Or brownies? Or cobbler?

goodbye, Christmas

Today is the feast of the Epiphany... Three Kings day. Today marks the end of the Christmas season. Many people take down their Christmas decorations on December 26th or on New Year's Day. We take them down today so that we can enjoy maximum Christmas. The twelve days of Christmas ended yesterday.

This always makes me so sad. The special sparkle and magic of the holidays is gone. Intellectually, I know it wouldn't be so special if we had these things year round, but it makes me sad nevertheless.

No more Christmas tree full of hundreds of lights.

No more familiar Christmas movies.

No more Christmas dinnerware with cute reindeer on them.

No more people letting me into their lane because it's Christmas time.

No more parties.

No more fun mail.

No more pretty lights to illuminate the usually drab shopping centers.

No more surprise gifts to friends.

No more feelings of good cheer and generosity from other people, just because it's Christmas time.

"Oh, that we could always see such spirit through the year." -- "Christmas Time is Here"

all snug in my bed

After finishing up my Christmas cards, which took me a week longer than I wanted to, I was pretty pooped by 9:30. We did our usual falling asleep on the couch to something brainless like Seinfeld and then moved to the bed.

As soon as I got all snug and warm and was just dozing off, I hear a deep, rhythmic "boom-boom" noise coming from outside my window. The kind that is so deep you can feel it in your chest. Soon after, I was completely awake and realized that it wasn't an earthquake. No, it was some idiot's giant bass speakers in their freaking car. At 11:00pm.

Our apartment complex is relatively close to a university. And while there are slews of complexes much closer to the university than ours, it doesn't stop some college students from staying there. I realize that finals are more than likely over or close to being over at this point, but some of us need to get up early to exercise and go to work.

In the last few years, actually, our complex has gotten sketchier and sketchier. They're just not screening people adequately, I think. For example, last year, when we were away on vacation, we came back to find that our local police had busted a Korean prostitution ring in our complex. Earlier this summer, there was a guy walking around the complex and pulling the pants down on girls who were walking their dogs. Thankfully that was all he did (it could be a lot worse), but still.

And now we have the noise maker. I hope he/she/they don't return. Because I might actually get out of bed and...

call security. (I would like to kick their asses, but a woman has to realize her limitations. And I'd need to go back to sleep afterwards, which would be very difficult.)

new pillows

We've been using the same sleeping pillows for about four years now. Well loved, they were lumpy and had a well-worn head groove (the pillow equivalent to a butt groove on the couch). I'm always leery about getting new pillows because there is always a break in period during which my sleep isn't great. But generally, that's pretty much how we use things around the house... use them until they are beyond the point of donating because they are just worn out. Less consumption means less stuff in a landfill, which is good for the environment, right?

But the line had been crossed and we needed new pillows. And a new mattress pad, too. So I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to purchase said items. And assembled the bed. Oh, the mattress pad made things very comfy. But the pillows need to be broken in. Badly. Need to work in a new head groove.

Of course, a new pillow wasn't the only factor contributing to a crappy night's sleep. It was also the two pages from the hospital (one at midnight and one at 3:30am) and the car alarm that went off for a minute (I timed it) just under our window at 2:30am.

Anyone else have problems with new pillows messing up sleep? Or am I just like the princess and the pea like my dad always said? ;-)

my view

As I sit and study, my usual spot is in the large chair with the matching ottoman. It's very comfy and a kitty can sit on my legs since my proper lap is occupied with books.

Here's my view:

This looks out over our little patio and into a street within the apartment complex. You'll notice at the upper left hand part of the archway is a large tree.

Here's a close up with an upward gaze. You'll notice the tiny little yellow flowers on the tree. A gentle breeze comes and the little yellow flowers float away in a colorful shower. Very peaceful.

Except that's not what I envision. These are the same kinds of trees that populate the Esplanade near the Clamshell of Boston's Charles River. Daniel and I spent a very hot 4th of July under these trees in 2002, which was our last 4th of July in Boston. We were there all day with friends, waiting for the nighttime fireworks show and Barry Manilow concert with the Boston Pops for a traditional Pops Goes the 4th.

I had just started a transplant surgery rotation and had been up all night doing a liver transplant. I just had time to go home and shower and I had to go meet them there. I think it was around 7 or 8am. Normally there is no place to park in Boston and the 4th of July was even worse. So I ran a couple of blocks carrying either lounge chairs or bags of groceries; I was afraid of not getting a wristband and not being allowed into the area close to the Clamshell with everyone else. I might as well have skipped the shower considering how gross I was when I got there.

It was the first 4th of July since 9/11 happened, and there were all kinds of military personnel there. There were Massachusetts state troopers in their gear, Navy guys SCUBA patrolling the Charles, and Army soldiers walking around carrying Geiger counters with gas masks strapped to their belts. There was very heightened security just to get into the area in which we were sitting and we were lucky to have arrived so early to get our spot.

We sat out all day. Normally, it would have been really nice. But Boston was in the middle of a heat wave and this particular day saw temperatures in the high 90s with similar numbers for humidity. It was sweltering. Give me a dry 112 any day. We subsisted on watermelon, water, and frozen lemonade being sold at outrageous prices.

And then came the little yellow flowers. They floated down gently enough, but when they hit your sweaty skin, they stuck. We were under constant attack -- there were hundreds of them. We couldn't escape... unless it was in a port-a-potty. I even fell asleep once. When I woke up, I was blanketed in yellow.

All in all, it really was a great 4th of July. I'll never forget the concert, hearing the howitzers go off in time with the 1812 Overture (which is really the only tolerable way of hearing that horrid piece), and seeing the longest fireworks show in the history of Pops Goes the 4th!

But most of all, I'll never forget those damned little yellow flowers.

backyard dreams

The summer collection from Pottery Barn arrived in the mail today. Leafing through it's pages, I found myself experiencing a strong urge to buy a home with a big backyard. Not to be a home owner or move into one of the final stages of adulthood. No, I wanted to buy a house so I could put Pottery Barn stuff in the backyard. I would also order some of the views in the backyard, if I could...

order... restored

Merry Christmas everyone! We all had a blast over Christmas... me, Daniel, Dawn, my friend Gabi, and the Christmas orphans from work.

Dawn arrived late Friday night. Actually, it was early Saturday morning. Her flight out of Houston was delayed like four hours or something close to that. So instead of arriving at LAX at 1am, it was more like 3:30am. I rounded in the hospital and removed an appendix later that morning. Then I came home and took a little nap to try to kick the cold I was (am) fighting. When I woke up, I had my second wind, and we started making Christmas cookies! This activity extended into Sunday. We would have been done *much* sooner if we had a second cookie sheet to bake on, but it's hard to justify that kind of expense when you only bake once a year like I do. We were a well oiled machine in the kitchen -- mixing dry ingredients for later, icing cookies, dipping biscotti. There is no way I could have made all those cookies without Dawn's help. So. Many. Cookies. We made:

• two batches of White Chocolate, Pistachio, and Strawberry Biscotti
• two batches of Chocolate Candy Cane Sandwich Cookies
• Lime Snowballs (with the famous lime oil)
• Maple Stars

I'm so glad I got the lime oil. It made all the difference.

The extra batches of cookes were for caroling on Sunday night, which we did at a friend's house. We arrived and set up "the bar" area in their kitchen. We descended like a plague and took over their kitchen. We could make about 15 different holiday themed drinks. They looked like girly drinks, but they were strong! We had all the garnishes and everything. We sang outside in the 60 degree Southern California winter's night for about 90 minutes and had a great time. Then we went back to eat and drink!  We had a great time, and hopefully this will be the first of an annual tradition. We used to go caroling every year when we lived in Boston, but it has been a difficult activity to transition to California. The neighborhoods are usually gated and if they're not, then you might want to think twice about going there. This area was an older part of a little town, full of quaint houses on large lots and very safe. Many people weren't home and no one gave us figgy pudding, but it was fun anyway. When the evening was over, we took back the liquor that was ours, the mixing utensils and the martini glasses. Party in a box!

Our intent for Christmas Eve was that it be calm and peacful, because the old Polish tradition says that how you are on Christmas Eve is how you will be for the whole next year. So no fighting or pouting or anything bad. I have been in bad need of new contacts for about a month now and thought this would be a good time to re-order them. Turns out my prescription is expired. LensCrafters had appointments open, so I went in. I had to. They wanted to dilate my eyes. I usually say no becuase I have so much to do, but I had no excuse. Okay fine. I forgot how blurry everything is after that. (Does that mean my year is going to be blurry?) I was going to stop and get gas on the way home, but I realized that I wouldn't have been able to read the prompts on the gas thing. I was also supposed to get tuna and bread. I could handle the bread. Bread is big. Here's my credit card... where do I sign? But I was not going to buy tuna because I wouldn't have been able to see if it looked decent or not.

I got real sourdough bread from Boudin. But there isn't a lot of parking in front of the cafe. So I swung around and parked near another restaurant. There was some kind of sign right in front of where I parked, but I couldn't read it. I can only guess it said "Parking only for xxx restaurant" because as soon as I wiggled my way through the plants on my way to Boudin, some man started shouting "No! No!" followed by some unintelligible words in very broken English. I'm pretty good at Spanglish, but I could not make out what he was saying. "Maybe he was talking to someone else," I thought. "I am obviously not a native Spanish speaker, and he must be talking to someone else." I couldn't see his face, so I had no idea. I went in, bought my bread and went on my merry way. On the way out of the parking lot, I saw the same man hanging on what I think was a walkie talkie out of his car. And he glared at me as I drove by. I could see that much. Eh. I'm sure he got over it. Gimme a break, Amigo. It's Christmas Eve.

Daniel made a wonderful Vigilia, which is meatless in the Polish tradition. He made a beet and vegetable soup, served with my sourdough bread. Then we had homemade pierogi stuffed with saurkraut, herbed salmon, and... something else really yummy. Later off to midnight Mass at 11pm and then we came home and crashed.

Chrismas day was perfect. I got a Red Sox jacket, long sleeve World Champions t-shirt with bling, a stylin' short sleeve t-shirt (also with bling), World Series pint glass, a really nice rollerball pen, a bunch of movies, season 10 of The Simpsons, Cranium booster packs, tons of teas and candy! Daniel was a master in the kitchen:

• Cocktail: Crimsontini with cranberry juice and some other yumminess I don't know
• Appetizers: various cheeses, Parmesan Puffs on Toast Points, Caprese Salad Bites
• Soup: Polish Hunter's Stew with venison and preceeded by an ice cold shot of vodka
• Salad: Butter lettuce with pine nuts and cranberries with an amazing vinagrette
• Intermezzo: trio of sorbets
• Main Course: Roast Pheasant with Purple Plum Sauce, Chestnut stuffing, Sweet Potato Hazlenut Gratin, Wilted Spinach with spiced butter
• Dessert: Passion Fruit Creme Brulee

We were *stuffed*. And happy.

On Boxing Day, we cleaned up and relaxed. I made some thank you cards for the gifts we received and decided that the American version of Boxing Day should be National Thank You card day. Watched more Christmas movies, ate leftovers, watched Simpsons. Then we took Dawn to the airport. :-(

Our Christmas celebrations are continuing... today is only the third day of Christmas! We're going to see the sights at Disneyland tonight. Hope you all had a safe and beautiful Christmas!