My Thoughtful Spot

need a good week

Last week was pretty weird as far as my summer study and weight loss goals are concerned. Traveling doesn't do one's waistline a bit of good, and I just had to try deep dish pizza when I was in Chicago! I was still a bit jet-lagged from my trip in the beginning of the week, so the whole morning yoga thing didn't happen. Not once. Then we had baseball game tickets more days than not, so extended workouts (over 50 minutes) didn't happen, either. Getting home late from a game makes me not want to get up for an early yoga class. I love baseball games and going to so many is great, but it doesn't help me further my fitness or weight loss goals. Add to that a miscommunication with a friend and a holiday, and I have very mixed reviews about last week.

So far so good for this week. Yes, I realize I'm only half way through Monday, but it's important to get off on the right foot. I got up at 6:00 and managed to make the 6:30 yoga class, which was awesome. I came home and was focused and ready to study. I'm eating well (right stuff, right portions) so far and have plans for a lower body, chest, and abs workout, plus at least 40 min of cardio. We have no baseball tickets for this week because the Angels are out of town and next week is the AllStar break. I need to get through this phase of my studies and move on to the next one already.

Let's face it... if I want to lose 8 pounds and be ready for the boards by the middle of August, I have to maintain the focus of a laser! I can't run out of steam with five weeks to go!

conservation of energy

I've been to a couple of yoga classes this week and was re-acquainted with something I had forgotten from my previous, limited experience with yoga.

At the end of each class, there is a variable amount of time that is left for "relaxation." It's usually five to ten minutes and is done in the "corpse" pose -- lying flat on your back with your arms at your sides, palms up. They don't usually say the name of the pose, for obvious reasons. Some instructors will let quiet music play and give you the time for self meditation. Others will do directed visualization exercises, where you walk through a field or forest or whatever. As the period of time draws to a close, you end up sitting in a cross-legged position and we exchange greetings of "namaste" with the instructor, which means "I am your humble servant."

Today, before the namaste, our instructor thanked us for sharing our energy with him. After ten minutes of walking through a desert to an oasis, I internally scoffed a bit at the new level of hippiness he took us to.

But this thought returned to me throughout the day... it haunted me really. I realized that he was giving a new term to something I already believe: that we affect each other every day by the attitudes we bring to our interactions. By the energy we bring. He was acknowledging the fact that we came to his class and our positive energy positively affected him.

We've all experienced both positive and negative energy. We have given and taken energy. Hopefully we give more than we take. (Because, let's face it, energy vampires suck. And I didn't invent that term.) I take it one step further because I believe, most of the time, we can control the kind of energy we give to others. Hopefully the good energy we give is returned to us. And if it's not, then hopefully we are strong enough to resist other's attempts to turn our positive energy into something negative. Hopefully we've learned to deflect it, like arrows bouncing off a shield. We'll all inevitably suffer from negative energy; when that does occur hopefully our friends will give us some of their positive energy to try to help us.

Even physicists have observed this transfer of energy in the physical world around us. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be changed from one form to another. So states the Law of Conservation of Energy. It only makes sense that this applies to us as well.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for sharing your energy with me. Thank you for giving me your energy in the form of kind comments. I hope my comments on your blogs can in some small way return the gesture.

Namaste

new and improved

I'm still processing it, really. I'm done. Finished. The prison sentence that was residency is over and I'm out on parole. We had a fantastic weekend of celebrating (which I'll go into when I have a bit more time to devote to it), but it simply felt like I had the weekend off. I didn't actually start feeling done until yesterday.

Here's what I've been doing with my new-found freedom. I have a new schedule for my studying efforts. I'm only on day three, but I think it's working out pretty well.

• get up at 6:00 and do 30 minutes of yoga
• study til noon 
• 30-45 minute lunch break 
• study til 4-4:30 
• go to the gym for my real workout
• (optional) baseball tickets 

The getting up early thing might sound crazy, but my brain shuts off for studying after about 7. So if I want to study that much, I have to start early. The yoga thing I thought I'd throw in there. I've always wanted to try to get more into yoga, but I never had the time to add it into my regular routine. It doesn't burn as many calories as my cardio/weights, so I couldn't do it instead.

There are a couple of classes at my gym that I'd like to start taking to get more into it. But that is an hour long and I had to make a slight adjustment to my schedule:

• get up at 5:30
• study for 45 minutes 
• yoga at the gym for 6:30-7:30
• study from 8-12:30
• lunch from 12:30-1
• study from 1-4:30
• real workout at 4:30 

On these days, which I think will be twice a week, I'll will not be days that we go to baseball games. It doesn't allow enough time for my afternoon workout and for me to clean up before the game.

And that's it! Evenings free. Weekends free. Dream come true.

let's be realisitic here

I managed to have a pretty good workout yesterday, considering that I was post-call and everything. The plan was 10 minute warm up, strength training for legs, chest, and abs, and cardio for at least 30 minutes.

I warmed up on the rower, which is something I almost never do. Should remember that one and add it to my repetoire more often. Then I came to a realization: it's silly of me to expect that I should be able to run 5, even 4 miles on days when I do strength training for my legs. Especially with me running almost every day. So on legs days, I'll have an easier cardio workout with either the elliptical or an easy jog on the track outside.

It was sprinkling as I ran around the roof; a real treat here in Southern California.

One last thing that I'm almost ashamed about being so excited about... as I was going into the gym, I saw a trainer that I see a lot on the floor. We always exchange a "Hi, howya doin'." He said that I was looking good recently and that he could tell that my work was paying off. That's a paraphrase, because I was so giddy immediately after that I completely forgot his precise words. Oh, SNAP. :-)

i didn't think i could do it

I was on call last night. It could have been worse (it can always be worse), but I was definitely lacking sleep when I left at 11am this morning. Plus, I couldn't go directly home; I had to go to the VA to get thirteen different departments to say I was clear to "separate" from the institution. More on that later.

I got home and proceeded to try and nap. It's never good sleep, but it's pretty much required because I can't make up the sleep deficit in one night. When I saw that it was 4:30, I decided it was time for me to go to the gym. Otherwise, I woudn't make it at all.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but when I'm that tired and I wake up far before I'm ready to, I kind of feel sick. Like my body is rebelling against me trying to make it do more things. Or my mind. Either way, I feel nauseated, disoriented, and generally unwell. Not a good frame of mind to get up and get my butt to the gym. I decided I was going to be gentle with myself. "Do a longer warm up because you've been sleeping. Then strength training for back, biceps, and abs. Then see how you feel about cardio. You probably won't be able to run five miles, but see how you feel." I may have actually said this out loud in the car; I can't really remember.

So I get through my warm up and am feeling pretty good. Progressively better during the strength training. My energy wanes during abs, but it's likely because I'm laying down. NO! No sleeping! With a heavy heart and feet to match, I walk up stairs to the cardio equipment and pick a treadmill. Manual. Enter weight. Incline -- zero. Time. I pause. I could definitely do 3 miles; probably even 4. Ok fine, 50 minutes. I can typically run 5 miles in just under 50 minutes.

And I did it. I'm shocked with myself. If you told me I was going to do that post-call, I would have said you were crazy. Looks like I'm crazy. Still. ;-)

recommit to hamsterness

Last spring, I started running as a regular part of my fitness routine. When I started, I despised it, but I was looking at a week of vacation and didn't want to pay a $15 daily fee for some crappy gym. So if I could run for... say... an hour, that would save at least $90, right?

After my vacation, I kept it up. I stopped sucking at it so much and actually started to look forward to my runs. I'd run 6 miles 2-4 times per week. Through discussions with people who have run marathons, they told me that if I wanted to run faster, I would have to run for a longer period of time at the original pace. So I got up to 10 miles, which I did once or twice a month through August. Then I started a really difficult rotation, and lost the ability to work out for extended periods of time. Which turned into the holidays, and then more difficult rotations.

I want to get back up to running 10 miles. Not because I want to train for anything like a half-marathon; I'm a hamster who runs on the treadmill with my own little tv tuned to Simpsons, What Not to Wear, or some good old movie on TCM. But because I've been able to do it in the past, I liked how I felt when I was able to do it, and I don't want to lose this ability as I get older.

One of the reasons I've not run so much recently isn't because of a lack of time, but because of a trainer who gave me a free session at the gym. I think she kind of threw me for a loop -- unintentionally, I'm sure. She took me to the roof to run on the track and told me that I could burn more fat that way. Which, when I think about it, is crap. I'll burn more fat if I burn 600 calories on the treadmill vs. 350 outside. While it's nice and peaceful up there, I don't really push myself. I just sort of jog along and when I get tired, I do 5-10 more minutes and then stop. The most I've run up there is 40 minutes, and it's no where near as fast as I go when I'm on the treadmill.

So screw the roof. I'm back to my tv watching. I'll keep an eye on my form and use the tips she gave me for running, but I have *got* to get back up. Why not just run 6-10 miles outside you ask? A couple of reasons: First, I'm paranoid of the sun. It causes wrinkles and cancer, in that order. Second, I'm also paranoid about jacking up my knees. Cement is very unforgiving on knees, and all the orthopaedic residents tell me that I'll need knee replacements if I run on cement. So that's out. It's either a track (outside) or the treadmill (inside). I'll head up to the roof occasionally, but the norm will be the hamster track.

Today's workout will be a 5-10 minute warm up of either stair master or jumping rope, back and biceps for strength training, and running. I ran a little more than 4 miles yesterday, so I think I'll go for 5 today.

candles and laces

Even though I have been going to my current gym for almost five years, I recently discovered the small jogging track on the roof. That's partly because I didn't really get into running until last year, and partly because I was content on the treadmill. My current workout started boring me to tears, so I decided to try it.

It's nice and quiet. Almost no one goes up there, and if they do, it's to use the tennis courts or outdoor training facility they just opened. At any one time, I have never seen more than four people up there. I purposely don't jog with my iPod because it forces me to concentrate on my form and breathing. It also allows my brain to just wander, which it almost never has a chance to do.

One of the places my brain wandered to on this evening's run was the names of Yankee Candles. Where the heck do they come up with them? Some are obvious, like Lavender. But Sparkling Angel? What the hell does that tell you about the scent? I also decided that Midnight Cove was a name that was stolen from a soft porn movie they show on late-night Cinemax.

Another thing that really started to annoy me is the fact that I have to re-tie my laces at some point during my workout, no matter what I'm doing or which pair of sneakers I'm wearing. I have a running pair and a cross training pair (because the cross country coach my brother had in high school yelled at the students who wore their running shoes to do anything but running because he said it broke down the support). And inevitably, a little after a mile or about 20 minutes into the step class, those freaking laces come undone. I tie knots almost every day that do not come undone. How hard is it to tie a freaking tennis shoe? So I stop and tie it while my heart rate goes down. But I'm so mad I tie them much harder than before, which starts to hurt and cut off the blood supply to my foot. So I have to stop again. You'd think I'd be able to figure this out.

you think i'm what??

My favorite class at the gym in Saturday mornings -- it's advanced step. I try to make it as often as I can, which is usually around 2 times a month. It's usually the same people who go every week and we all know each other's faces, if not names. Yesterday's workout was a blast and I had a great time doing it. Felt energetic the whole time, too.

When it was over and we were putting our steps away and getting the mats for abs, a girl I didn't recognize approached me and asked, "Are you an instructor?"

"Me? NO!"

"Oh. Your form is just awesome, so I thought you were."

That totally made entire day.

either way

I just got back from the gym. My shoulder is all better now and I was able to do a full weights work out. I saw something rather disturbing that I had to get out of my system.

Have you ever seen those leotards the male ballet dancers wear? Yeah. This middle aged man was wearing sweats that were so incredibly tight they were reminiscent of leotards. Hell, they could have been leotards for all I knew; I really tried not to stare. Either way, it was oh so wrong...

weekly assessment

Ok. So I didn't lose any weight this week. Not surprising when I only worked out 4 days and didn't do as well as I could have on the eating front. Monday I went out to dinner with some friends. That's always hard to control. Then I had a really bad thing happen to me at work, and I suppose I didn't handle it all that well in the calorie department.

It could be worse, though. I could have gained weight. I'm glad that I didn't. I had a kick-ass workout this morning and according to my calorie counting website, I burned over 750 calories.

This week will be better. It must be better!