My Thoughtful Spot

a hometown christmas

Ever since we moved back from Boston in 2003, I seem to be on call on Christmas, Christmas Eve, or the day after. So instead of doing Christmas with the family, we move it to a weekend earlier in December. While no opening of presents actually happens (because Jesus isn't born yet!), we exchange them to save on shipping.

This past weekend was when we decided to make our trip up this year. But it was sandwiched into a very busy schedule; the previous week was crazy for me and Daniel had traveled to New York and back. Our scheduled departure was after a Christmas party that we were obliged to attend, which was around 9:00. There were rumors of potential road closures over mountain passes because of black ice concerns, but we were lucky in that it was only raining. I think the weather scared many people into not traveling... let's face it, people in southern California have no clue how to drive in weather unless it's sunny and dry. So despite the rain, we actually made it there in record time.

Mom's party house didn't disappoint and there was enough food to feed a battalion. Maybe two. Saturday night we went out to a very famous street with elaborate Christmas displays on nearly every house. It's a tradition in my hometown going back 88 years! When we got back after that, the adults decided to warm up with my now-famous Algonquin Bar punch. We played games, watched movies, and had a great time.

The next morning, we headed over for brunch at mom's. I was asked to make the punch again, which wasn't a problem. More Christmas movies, more laughs.

A few months ago my dad moved back to my hometown with the daughter he adopted with his second wife. There have been some pretty crazy dynamics going on up there, but it is neat being able to see my mom and dad again and they're actually nice to each other. It was the first time we've been able to celebrate Christmas... all five of us (mom, dad, and the three kids), in over a decade. It was a little weird, a lot comfortable. Things are pretty complicated with the child my dad adopted, and no one really knows what the future will bring, but this year's Christmas weekend will always be a special one.

big times are back

• While on my usual 4 hour drive to my hometown, I got a message from my assistant that I needed to call a patient. She was bitching and moaning about getting pre-op labs, chest x-ray and EKG. I spent half an hour on the phone with her, which happened to be when we were on a pit stop. And I hadn't peed yet, so we couldn't even get back on the road. "I've never had to get those before and I've had scopes and other anesthesia before." I tried to patiently explain to her that those procedures that occurred when she was under the age of 50, but now that she's 52, she has to get it done. Or I'm not operating. Period. Then I mentioned to her that I didn't know the name of the radiology facility where she had her mammogram done. She said that she wasn't sure if she should have me as her surgeon because I "obviously don't know who she is." At which point I got royally pissed and said that I was on my way out of town and did not have her chart sitting in front of me. I was on the road and she was lucky that I called her back then instead of making her wait until Monday. I knew who she was, what her diagnosis was, and what the planned procedure is. But remembering the radiology facility? No. And if she expects that of her surgeon, then she's probably right -- she should get another one. She apologized. I get to operate on her tomorrow. But I'm still pissed. She really damaged our relationship for no good reason. I will do an appropriate surgery, of course, but my empathy for her? A lot less.

• The county fair was awesome, as usual. Saw pig races, giant vegetables, bees in a hive, horse races, prize winning cakes, pies, place settings, and quilts, and all the fried food you could handle! I was a wuss food-wise... had a Greek salad. But I made up for it with margaritas and beer. I was also lucky enough to get my very own Sham Wow, which I have been wanting for the last three years or so. The As Seen on TV areas at the fair are the BEST.

• On Sunday, Papelbon single-handedly killed all postseason baseball. All season long I've been saying that his arrogance will eventually cost us more than a game. Here's one time where I wish he would have proved me wrong. He gets to ruminate over it all winter long. And I don't feel bad for him at all. It's going to be hard to route for the Angels, but I'll have to get over it; we have tickets for some of the ALCS games. Once I see the Yankees, I'm sure my hatred for them will make things much easier.

• Everyone really liked the baked goods. As I expected, the kids' favorites were the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (with frosting), but they even liked the scones. But with all the food we ate at the fair and the giant breakfast my dad made us the following day, I had leftovers. Which mom made me take home! Must... resist...

• I'm struggling a bit with a new family dynamic. I hesitate to put too much here (because my family occasionally reads this blog), but my dad and adopted sister recently moved back to my hometown. Yes, I realize that makes me her sister, but I never really lived in the same house, or even the same state, with her. She's 13, which means that I'm old enough to be her mother. And she's got a whole slew of behavioral problems (which my family already knows) and I have very little patience for them; I've been told I can be a little... mean. (I have a lot of practice being a big sister, what can I say?) My whole line of thinking is that she's smart enough to know how to be respectful to others around her and to "cotton on" to the way things are now. I refuse to lower my standards, which is a luxury I am afforded by distance. I hope things work out for everyone's sakes. I won't diminish my trips up there because of it, though. I love my family and still want to see them and do cool things that I can only do with them in my hometown.

• My sister is going through a lot right now at home; I didn't get to see her much at all. If you're the praying kind, please say a few for her. She's not, but that doesn't mean that she can't be helped by some. As a matter of fact, prayers for my whole family up there would be good (see above). Thanks much.

just like grandma?

My great-great grandmother (we called her ol' grandma) was born in 1884 and she lived to be 105 years old. She grew up in New York, where she was the first registered midwife in the state. She lived with her son and daughter-in-law, my great grandma and great grandpa, and we visited them when we were kids on a regular basis. She would always spend the afternoons in her room... being quiet, reading, napping... or exercising. I remember knocking on her door one afternoon and she was doing leg raises in her room. "One hundred on each side," she said. If she wasn't 100 years old at the time, she was damn close.

She read incessantly with a  hand-held magnifying glass. Not like Sherlock Holmes or anything; it was plastic and had a built-in light that would help her see the words of the newspaper or book she was reading. Even when she died just before my 14th birthday, she was sharp as a tack. She was hard to understand because she didn't have any teeth, but she could tell you exactly what was going on.

As I look at my niece, I see that she shares a lot of my qualities. She's a perfectionist, over-reacts about silly things, is very hard on herself, likes to look girly, her scalp hurts when she brushes her hair, her hair is going to be a mousy grey-brown (trust me), she's a bit of a drama queen, she likes school and gets good grades... (My poor sister can't seem to escape me!)

Now that I'm older I see these connections through the generations; from aunt to niece. I wonder how many qualities go from granddaughter to great-great-grandmother? She was a midwife. No one else in my family is in medicine, but I can't help feeling that we share this talent to comfort, if not to heal. She was an exerciser. I'm addicted to the gym. She could read people very accurately. I like to think I can do that sometimes. I wonder what else we share... 

we'll see him soon

Today my brother-in-law Jim shipped overseas with the Air Force. He's in the Air National Guard and he is one of the last few people where he's stationed that hasn't gone to the middle east yet. The minimum amount of time he'll spend over there is six months, they say.

Once he arrives, they'll be briefed about the rules. Get email accounts, guidelines for care packages, and probably a bunch of other more important stuff. He's set up an online game to play with my nephew; I hope they'll be able to do it. I was thinking about sending him a care package of biscotti, but thought better of it. Biscotti? He'll probably get made fun of for having such fru-fru food. Prolly just stick to chocolate chip cookies.

If you pray, please pray for him and the rest of the brave men and women with whom he is serving.

When I find out about care packages, would anyone want the info for your own care package? Let me know in the comment section; I'm sure he and the other guys (and gals) would appreciate any comforts from home!

thanksgiving weekend recap

We had a really busy, but amazingly fun Thanksgiving weekend. It all started Wednesday when my mom arrived. The poor thing got stuck in traffic over the grapevine and a 4 hour drive turned into a 6 hour one in the middle of southern California rush hour. I got her all settled into her hotel room and then she hung out at our place for the rest of the evening. Daniel had already started cooking for Thursday, but he had to suspend his efforts to pick up Dawn from the airport.

All of us had been practically fasting in preparation for the insane amount of food Daniel was serving. We had little to no breakfast, no lunch, and were good and hungry by the time the appetizers rolled out at 2:00. Daniel does something different every year with perhaps one or two dishes held over from previous years because they are favorites. Here is the menu, entitled "Over the Top":

• Foie gras toasts with sauternes gelee
• Pecan and goat-cheese marbles
• Raspberry vodka cocktails

• Roast turkey with black-truffle butter and white-wine gravy
• Chestnut, leek and apple stuffing 
• Cranberry, quince, and pearl onion compote
• Parsnip puree with sauteed brussels sprouts leaves
• Roasted sweet-potato rounds with garlic oil and fried sage

• Pumpkin and brown sugar creme brulee

I was in such a food coma after that... my memories of the day are pretty sketchy. I do remember that Dawn and I narrowly squeaked out a win in Cranium. The rest is a blur.

Friday was pretty full. I really wanted to go see what awesome deals I could get in the malls, but our only car was in serious need of brake work. Daniel got up early and took in to the mechanic for new brakes, shocks, etc. Then we had to take the ottoman Athalia's scratching post in to get re-upholstered. By the time Dawn, Steven, and I braved the stores, it was after noon. But there were still some great deals! The best deals of the day was a $30 wreath for $10 and a 7" portable DVD player for $50. I was also pretty insistent on getting our Christmas tree, so after we had Thanksgiving dinner redeux, we went out and picked the tree, brought it home, and put it in the stand.

Saturday Dawn, Daniel and I went to Disneyland. Dawn has been here for several Christmases, but we've always been too busy doing homey Christmas things that we never got out to the park. So we managed to get out there this past weekend so she could see all the decorations, the parade, and the fireworks. See her blog for photos (but later, she got sick).

By the time Sunday morning rolled around, Dawn was feeling horrible and in bed. We had only planned to decorate the tree (only the lights got up) and go to church, but Daniel and I felt so bad for her. And yet she managed to fly the red-eye back home and get through most of a day at work. I'm so glad she came out, but wish she hadn't gotten sick!

Just that one long weekend demonstrated so much of what I have to be thankful for. 

black widow fight club

Late Friday night, after doing five operations that completely wiped me out, my brother and I drove four and a half hours back home to help our mom move.

Steven, Kate (bro and sis), Jim (Kate's husband), and I moved all of mom's crap in just two days. We were lucky to also have Grandma join the party; she manned (womaned?) the kitchen and helped keep us well-fed. Equally important to me was that she kept the kitchen organized and clean! When I needed to be surrounded by a little less chaos, I'd spend a few minutes in the kitchen.

Jason and Zoe (nephew and niece) couldn't help much. Zoe is just 8 and Jason is still recovering from a broken leg. He could help carry a few lighter things, but there were so many heavy things that he ended up being bored most of the time.

To help pass the time, Jason (age 13) scoured the backyard for black widow spiders for his Black Widow Fight Club. He threw about five into a gatorade bottle and waited for a victor to emerge. "Five spiders enter, one spider leaves." The fight club events quickly occupied any break time Steven and Jim took, while I was standing in the clean kitchen. At the end of the evening, all five spiders were still alive. The most exciting thing that happened was that a smaller spider lost a leg.

We were able to move it all. ALL. And there was a lot. So much of it was so heavy. But I'm really glad I was able to help.

county fair goodness

It was so great to go see my family this past weekend and go to the county fair. It is so much better than our local fair, which I would expect because our region isn't exactly agricultural like it was 50 years ago. But the Fresno Fair is pretty much the same every year. They have a few different exhibits, but there are always the old standbys: the youth art hall, the Ag exhibits, the farm animals and auctions, horse racing, home arts, and, of course, the as-seen-on-tv halls. Here are some highlights, view the entire album here.

Here's my brother succumbing to the silver-tongued devils at the as-seen-on-tv halls.

Kate, me, Steven, Jason (he's only 13!), and Zoe at the racetrack. We didn't bet on any horses; we spent our money on margaritas. With extra shots. ;-)

This is in the Home Arts building. Look at that popcorn. That's a cake! How did that not get a prize?

These were in the "ugly cakes" category. In the upper right hand corner, you'll see the edge of a cake that literally looked like a pile of shit. There was another cake in the shape of a nose with a zit and boogers coming out. I think both of those were grosser than the brain one, which won first prize.

Here's Zoe sitting in front of a giant, ribbon-winning pumpkin. She's there for cuteness as well as perspective.

These beans were in the Ag hall. Not sure why these are here instead of in the Home Arts hall. In fact, there are several things that I wish I knew the rules for judging. Like the place setting competitions. Why did one setting get a first prize when a better appearing setting didn't get anything? Kate and I really wanted to see the rules for the place settings. We were so busy trying to figure out the rules that I forgot to take pictures.

For example: what makes a second place box of garlic different from a first place box of garlic??

This says all you need to know at the fair: on display that the funnel cake vendor.

weekend trip!

This weekend my brother are driving up to Fresno so we can go to the Big Fresno Fair! It only spans about 12 days in the beginning of October. As-seen-on-tv exhibits, giant vegetables, table setting competitions, and farm animal auctions. Not to mention the food! I wasn't able to go last year and am totally stoked to be able to go this year. Unfortunately Daniel can't go because he has to work. But I'll take enough pictures to go around!

anniversary present quandry

It's hard to believe, but in December, Daniel and I will be celebrating our ten year anniversary. I have lots to say about our relationship (see my most recent song post), but I want to save most of it for closer to our actual anniversary. I preface this post with this disclaimer because this post is about presents, which can seem quite materialistic. I know the real meaning of such a monumentous anniversary, but I'm not naive enough to think that I'm not going to get a significant gift. Which means it should require a lot of thought and deliberation. It is an investment of sorts. So between now and December, we have some decisions to make.

Let's start with the gift for me. Usually, the world of weddings is full of tradition and etiquette. I thought that anniversaries would be guided by similar precepts. But after a little poking around on the ol' internet, I can find no such guidelines. So I braved the mall and went to a couple of jewelers to ask the experts' opinions. There were so many options that I deduced that there really are no rules regarding anniversary presents.

1. Upgrade the diamond in my current setting. Take the current stone and make it a pendant. This one I can eliminate because the design of my ring will not accept a larger stone. Good. One option eliminated.
2. Get a larger, single ring of my choosing. Basically I would choose an engagement ring with a larger stone, eternity band, or triple stone ring (the whole "past, present, future" idea). Then take current stone and make a pendant. I liked the beginning part of that. But why do I have to basically trash my current set? Why couldn't I just have both and choose whichever one I wanted? I asked them, and they said that people really didn't do that. Seems weird. I'm not willing to scrap the ring that I got proposed with and the ring that I got married with. Ain't happening.
3. Get a different piece of jewelry entirely. A right hand diamond ring, a necklace, whatever. But then it's just another piece of jewelry and doesn't have much to do with anniversaries except it's what I happened to get. A little symbolism would be nice, I think.
4. Design an eternity band to go with my current set. I'm not sure it would look that nice if it didn't match the wedding band. Perhaps I'd go for something something similar, not the same. 

The thing that struck me most was their instance that no one keeps their original setting and uses an anniversary ring, too (not at the same time, of course). They insisted that people picked one or the other and that's it. Then you put the stone in a pendant, so it's "close to your heart." (Insert eye roll here.) But like I said, I'm just not willing to scrap it. It's nothing extravagant; we were in our early 20's and barely had money for the hamburger helper we ate every night. But I love it. Plus, something too big would be a little much for seeing patients in the office.

(Note to my Daniel, who occasionally stops in here. Please don't read any further! Or I'm gonna be mighty pissed at you!)

Now that I'm utterly undecided about my gift, let's move onto his. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about his ring. Not giving it up, no way, no how. A ring for his right hand? He's not that kind of guy. Otherwise I would have gotten him a college or grad school ring by now.

He's mentioned that he would like studs and cufflinks for his tuxedo, perhaps with in onyx. That would be a nice gift. But he wears his tux once, maybe twice a year. (Let me assure you all, he wears it every chance he gets and has been known to stretch it: "It's better to be overdressed than underdressed" is an often-heard expression around here.) I'd like him to be able to use his present more often than twice a year. Other than this one idea, I'm totally stumped.

So. What do you think? Any and all thoughts will be entertained and appreciated. I'm thoroughly confused. Thank goodness we have a couple of months to figure this out.

working and entertaining

Right. So it's pretty obvious that I haven't been posting or reading anyone else's blogs much recently. My excuse is two-fold. Please allow me to present my case.

1. I'm still trying to find my rhythm at my new job. It's great and I'm much more relaxed than I ever was in residency. But when I'm there, I have little to no down time. I have even less down time than when I was a resident. I mean, if you think about it, in a 24 hour on call shift, there will usually be at least a few hours when you can sleep. But often I would just screw around on the computer because if I fell asleep I was less able to make rapid decisions. Since I don't do anymore 24 hour in-house call (WOO HOO!!), less down-time.

2. I've been busy being a hostess. Which I totally love. First it was my dear friend Dawn for a week. If I wasn't busy freaking out about my first week of work, we were out doing something fun! The best was going out for sushi (where Dawn adeptly used chopsticks for the first time). Then a day to tidy up and go to a movie premiere (more on this later). Then Friday, an exhausting operating room schedule, and home to arrive before my mom's arrival for the weekend. We crammed so much stuff into 48 hours, even I was impressed. Me! The queen of time cramming! Go to the gym, have breakfast/snack, buy a new Macbook and iPod, wine tasting, Angels game, church, shop for my niece's birthday, wrap presents, go to range, eat dinner.

Yes, you read that right. New toys. Last week I also got my signing bonus. After putting 50% of that aside for taxes that will need to be paid next April (and getting over the nausea/vomiting induced by losing 50% of my bonus to the government), I went and bought my first ever laptop! And I also got an iPod touch! I really can't decide which I am more excited about. I love them both. I have a bit left, so I'm considering buying the Time Machine to go with my Macbook. The whole thing is marketed on the idea that it backs up all your files automatically, no thinking required. Sounds good to me. Does anyone have this? Yay or nay?

I really hope my new computer will allow me to update more regularly, since it's becoming clear that I can't do it from work like I have. Cuz I sure miss you all!