My Thoughtful Spot

musically speaking: july 21, 2008

You fill up my senses

almost on a first name basis

The Red Sox have played two out of their three games here. And lost. One more to go. Might I add they only come to Angels Stadium once this year. So they only have one more chance.

Last night was a spectacular blow out. It ended up being 11-3. Despite that final score, two good things came of it. 1) It was Friday night fireworks. I can always get behind a good fireworks show, even if it always ends in that horrific, sophomoric piece that passes for music called the 1812 Overture. 2) Because the Angels scored 10 runs, everyone in attendance gets free sliders at Claim Jumper. This is replacing the old free wings offer from Hooters from last year. For some reason, the Angels aren't scoring as much as they did last year, so this was actually the first time we had an opportunity to enjoy free sliders. Too bad it was at the expense of a Red Sox loss.

By the time the fireworks festivities were over and we escaped the parking lot, the restaurant was only going to be open for another 20 minutes. Since we had 24 hours to get our sliders, we decided to go after today's game, with the hope that the sliders would taste a little better after Beckett got a win for us today.

Except that didn't happen, either. Beckett was doing very well in today's day game and was holding onto a 2-0 lead into the 7th. Inexplicably, at a pitch count that numbered only in the 80s, he gave up a solo home run, and let guys get on 1st and 2nd. He was pulled and the bullpen let those and one more come home, leaving us with a score of 4-2. During the rest of the game, we left a ridiculous number of men on base and ended up losing.

We went to Claim Jumper anyway, this time with the intention of drowning our sorrows in some more beer. The location we chose to visit was at a world famous mall, famous because of the high end stores held within it: Black, Starr & Frost, Bottega Veneta, Yves St Laurent, Hermes, Todd's, Christian Dior, Chanel, plus Bloomingdales and Nordstroms.

Our table at the bar offered a view of one of the entrance ways to the mall and Steven was perfectly poised for people watching. We had just finished up and were waiting for the check to arrive, when Steven says, "Hey, guys. That guy looks a lot like Pedroia."

I whip around and catch not only his profile but Mike Lowell's and I say, "Shit, dude. That is Pedroia. And Lowell!" Steven, Daniel and I just sort of stare at each other for a few seconds, each one of us just barely holding ourselves back from using a barstool to break the glass that separated us from two of our favorite Red Sox players.

me: "Well, we can't just go running after them like lunatics."

Daniel: "We can't do nothing, either. I'm going to the car to get the ball and the Sharpie. You guys figure out the bill."

Instead of doing that, Steven and I started to strategize how we would find Pedroia and Lowell in such a big mall with so many stores and restaurants.

Were they bored and want to explore a little before dinner? No. Why would two guys voluntarily go to a mall to "explore?" Well, this is the OC. There are some pretty hot chicks here in some crazy clothes. True. But they're happily married. Ok. Maybe they are here to buy something for their wives? Maybe. But where would they go? Coach? Tiffany? They can order that stuff online anytime. And there's an Hermes in Boston, as well as plenty of other good stores. Pedroia was dressed like a slob; maybe there here for the kick ass sale at Nordstroms and Lowell is going to help Pedroia pick out a few things. Oh, like that wouldn't draw even more attention to them.

These and a hundred other possibilities were offered when Daniel finally returned from the car. The bill was paid and we were off. We were walking at a medium-fast clip, looking into likely stores (but skipping things like Bath & Body Works and Limited) as well as scanning the crowds outside of stores. This is what this game was training us for. This is our mission. To find Pedroia and Lowell.

We went all the way down to the other end of the mall... where Nordstroms was at it's familiar position down the "snooty" wing of the mall. We went in and decided this would be a perfect location to go from the upper level to the lower level. The place was mobbed. We weaved through sales people and shoppers in the men's department, but did not find them. We escaped the snooty wing without success and needed a new strategy.

They obviously didn't drive here. Why would they be given a car? They don't know where anything is. They had a driver, obviously. For simplicity's sake, they would probably be picked up at the same location where they were dropped off. (Yeah, because we've had so many drivers in the past and know exactly how it works.) Even if the assumption was wrong, we felt that we were getting further and further away from our objective with each passing minute. So we agreed the best thing was to go back to the same hallway where we saw them in the first place and just wait.

We took up positions on benches so we could easily see everyone coming and going, as well as look for any suspicious looking black cars that roll up to the curb. Not ten minutes had elapsed when I saw a short, balding man carrying a Nordstroms bag; he was surrounded by kids holding baseballs. OHMYGODIT'SPEDROIA my head screamed at me. But I couldn't do anything except smack Steven on the arm like I had thousands of times before as only a big sister can.

I heard him say, "I'm sorry, I really have to go; I don't have time." Then he spotted Daniel wearing his Veritek jersey and me in my Red Sox t-shirt and said, "See? There's one of my buddies right there," pointed at Daniel and smiled at me. If I did a big lunge, I could have touched him. And then he walked out and disappeared over the footbridge to one of the hotels across the street.

Lowell was no where to be seen. We hung around for a few more minutes but didn't see him. He might have taken another exit. When I see Pedroia tomorrow at batting practice, I'm going to ask him what he bought at Nordrstroms. I'm dying to know which one of our theories was right.

whaaa???

Last Sunday I went to a friend's house for dinner. We were interns together, but since he took a year off to do research (and help his wife take care of their baby) he is in his last year now. He gave me his thoughts on chief year so far and I told him what it was like trying to break into the world of grown ups.

We were sitting outside in the warm summer evening just chatting, when we hear the doorbell ring. I looked at them inquisitively, but they told me their au pair would answer the door, so we kept talking. I was half listening to what was going on in the living room through the open screen door and I heard the man at the front door say my friend's name repeatedly.

First, his wife gets up to see what is going on. Then she calls him to the door. At this point, I'm dying of curiosity, and start to clean up plates and take them into the kitchen. The kitchen is closer to the front door and offers a better opportunity to catch more of the conversation. I didn't hear much, so I went back to the patio.

They finish at the door and come back outside. Turns out the man had found my friend's wallet, which he lost the previous day. The man said he would have returned it earlier, but he had to work all night and then pick up his daughter from somewhere remote. All the money he had was still there and my friend gave it to him for his troubles and as a thank you for returning it.

There really are good people in this world. Maybe more than a handful...

project runway 5: week 1

My secret TV shame is Project Runway. I have religiously watched the last four seasons and couldn't wait for this one to start. I'm not sure why I like it so much, but there are some really talented people out there. Mostly I think I enjoy watching them create art while they mix in a little drama -- as only artists can.

Based on only one show where they have to focus on 16 designers, it's hard to get a handle on their personalities, especially when they are trying to make garments out of things you buy at a grocery store. But there are most definitely some people I can talk about already.

This is Blayne. Blayne is a total douche. He is annoying as hell, but not in a Christian or Jeffrey interesting way of being annoying. He thinks he is God's gift to fashion and has an overinflated view of his body. Oh, yes, he obsessivley tans and I think my arms are bigger than his. So when he gets melanoma in 20-30 years, I hope he doesn't come to me to cure him. So let's move onto his piece for the challenge. I say "piece" because I'm not really sure what it is besides hideous.

He called it "girlicious." I think she's got a diaper to cover her crotch. I'm not entirely sure. ::shudder::

This is Jerell and I got a pretty good feeling from him. Doesn't seem to have a super huge ego and is talented, as evidenced by his design. He also hates Blayne, so that got him extra points with me.

Now onto who got cut. There were two scary designs and I think they chose the wrong one.

 #1     #2

Let's talk about #1. It's made of garbage bags that have not been completely opened up and the edges stitched together. She could have done so much more with this, even if it didn't involve color. What about metallics? If you're going for something hard and edgy, what about nails?

On to #2. Looks kinda like the bride from the murderer in I Know What you Did Last Summer. Yeah, scary. The trench needed a lot more shaping and he needed to ax the hood. But underneath was a dress that was cute and almost ethereal. This was designed by Jerry and they kicked him off. I think they made the wrong decision. What do you think?

Photos courtesy of BravoTV.

save the twinkies

I just heard that the California state legislature has passed, albeit narrowly, a ban on trans fat. This comes on the heels of them passing a ban on mylar balloons. The ban would not affect food that passes the state border, which comes under the jurisdiction of the FDA as an interstate commerce issue. But this is a pretty big state. A lot of food is made here.

As a doctor, I encourage the health and well-being of everyone. Most of the time, it starts with the basics. Eating well, exercising, no smoking, drinking in moderation, blah, blah, blah. You don't need a PhD in astrophysics to know what you're supposed to be doing. The fact is that most of the time we choose not to do it.

As an American, I object that the government is, yet again, trying to parent me. I am an adult. If I want to have some Oreos, I will have some Oreos. If I want to have frosted cookies loaded with trans fats, hand them over. It's called freedom. Freedom of choice.

This is a very slippery slope upon which we are standing. Next they'll say no soda. Then no mayonnaise. No chips. And I'm afraid to even speculate on the larger aspects of our life they will attempt to control next.

If these two bills get signed by our Governator, all of my future birthday parties will be held out of state.

the perfect shell for this nut

When I got back from Chicago at the end of June, Daniel could barely wait to show me something he'd acquired from ebay during my absence. For just $20, he purchased a silk Chinese smoking jacket. He's wanted one for years. Every time we'd go to Epcot, we'd spend extra time in the China pavilion, in the back, where they sell their rayon smoking jackets for $90. Every trip he'd try on one or two, only to realize what a phenomenal waste of money it was, put it back on the hanger, and hang it up.

I teased him a bit about how silly it was, but quickly stopped after seeing how happy it made him. Besides, it'll never leave the house, so I don't really care if he wears it. That's a lot different from when he wanted to wear a hat on a regular basis. Yes, a hat. As in fedora. I put my foot down so hard on that issue, I had to let this one go.

And was glad to when I saw how happy he was in it.

saturday survey

I have some things on my mind that I want to talk about, but not the concentration on a Saturday afternoon to compose them into a readable form. Which means... it's time for a survey! Got it from Rebecca.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Until just a few hours ago, it was my graduation certificate from residency, which was left over from when I had to take it to my new employer to be copied. Now... nothing.

2. When was the last time you threw up? Last month. I'll just leave it at that.

3. What's your favorite curse word? I'm going to have to go with sh*t. What else did you expect a general surgeon to say?

4. Name three people who made you smile today? My step aerobics instructor Jill (she's too cute), Dawn, and the guy at the BevMo! store who told me they don't sell alcohol to Red Sox fans (I was wearing a Red Sox shirt).

5. What were you doing at 8am this morning? Pumping my biceps at the gym. LOL. I just cracked myself up. I should have said "trying to get biceps at the gym."

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Cleaning up the pan I grilled chicken in from lunch.

7. What will you be doing three hours from now? Watching the Red Sox game!

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? No. But I want to, just to say that I've been. I'll even go to a girls one. But I will not pretend to be a lesbian.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? "At least." Which was in response to a grocery store clerk who asked me if I was at least 21.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. Yes, I know they're crazy liberals, but they make damn good ice cream. And at least that endeavour is healthily capitalistic. ;-)

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Diet Coke.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Chicken ceasar salad. Chicken grilled by ME!

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No. Still in the process of getting my ass smaller, so that'll have to wait.

15. When was the last time you ran? Yesterday. Ran a mile warm up before my lower body and chest weight routine. Which was then followed by more cardio.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? In person? Angels game. Don't ask me who they were playing, it was last week! 

18. Who is the last person you emailed? Daniel and my brother Steven. With thoughts on going to the Apocalypse film festival in Santa Monica later this month. 

19. Ever go camping? Yes! The last time was when we lived back east more than 5 years ago. During residency, if I have any time off, a significant part of that is going to be spent getting quality sleep, which doesn't exactly jive with camping. But now that residency is over, we're going camping with my sister and her family at the end of the month!

20. Do you have a tan? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ::wipes tear from eye:: Ok. Next question.

24 (?). Do you drink your soda from a straw? If it's of the fountain variety, yes. How else am I supposed to get it outta that plastic lid thingy?

25. What did your last IM say? I think it was "Ok. Hope you feel better!" to someone who had just returned to work after taking a day off for being sick.

26. Are you someone's best friend? I hope so!

27. What are you doing tomorrow? Going to church, running 6 miles plus doing triceps, shoulders & abs, and going to a friend's house for dinner.

28. Where is your mom right now? She's in Fresno. Probably. She could be in Clovis, depending on any errands she's doing. Beyond that, I can't get more specific.

29. Look to your left, what do you see? I see the Poo Fields. This is what I call the moderate sized patch of grass just below the guest room window where everyone takes their dogs for a sh*t (see? I told you it was a good word.). Half the time they just leave the sh*t there. >:-[

30. What color is your watch? I haven't worn a watch in over a year. I have some sort of electronic device on me that tells time almost all the time. Pager, phone...

31. What do you think of when you think of Austrailia? Sparkling shiraz, which I can't find here except at a restaurant called Bondi in the Gaslamp District of San Diego. I love shiraz...

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes. Nothing major... just... maintenance. We all need a little help, dah-ling.

33. What is your birthstone? Officially, it is yellow topaz. But there is now a worldwide shortage of yellow topaz, so they cheapened it to citrine, which I hate. Now if I want jewelry with yellow topaz, I have to call around to various jewelers to see if they even have any.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through? We usually only get fast food when we're on a road trip. Which means we eat in the car.

35. How many kids do you want? At least three. This has recently changed from "no more than two" because of something Mark Steyn said in his book America Alone. It's one of the few autographed books we have.

36. Do you have a dog? No. We live in an apartment and dogs need a backyard to run around in. Or at least someone who is home more than we are to hang out with them and take them on lots of walks.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? Daniel. He's in New York visiting his grandparents.

38. Have you met anyone famous? Politically famous, not Hollywood famous.

39. Any plans today? I'm going to confession and then watching the Red Sox game. Most of my friends are on call. :-P

40. How many states have you lived in? I guess that would consider what length of time would constitute as "living." I "lived" in Texas for a month and Maine for six weeks. Anything longer than that would only include California, Massachusetts, and Connecticut.

41. Ever go to college? Oh, boy, did I...

42. Where are you right now? In the guest room...

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? The scale. It won't budge. I've been killing myself at the gym, spending 1-3 hours a day there for the past four weeks. And eating all the right things. In the right amounts. And the scale resolutely won't move.

44. Last song listened to? 3's and 7's by Queens of the Stone Age

46. Are you allergic to anything? Mold. And something at the border that I haven't yet identified.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Bronze platform wedge sandals with little jewels across the straps. From last season. I don't think they'll make it to next summer...

48. Are you jealous of anyone? I'm jealous of anyone who is skinny and hot without giving a second thought to what they eat or what activity level they have. Sorry to be stereotypically girly here, but it's true. I work my ass off to be chunky.

50. Is anyone jealous of you? I think so. I have a really terrific husband.

51. What time is it? 3:26

52. Do any of your friends have children? Yes, a few. Definitely not the majority.

53. Do you eat healthy? YES!!! With the exception of holidays around here, you'd be hard pressed to find someone else who ate healthier! Come on, you f**king scale!!!

54. What do you usually do during the day? At the moment? Study.

55. Do you hate anyone right now? Goodness, no!

56. Do you use the word hello daily? Weird question. Yeah. Hello is a regular part of my vocab.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 33. Yikes. I don't feel almost 33. Except when people call me ma'am. I hate that. We live in California, moron, not the south.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain when I was younger a few times. I haven't been in a long time; Daniel isn't a fan of roller coasters and it's no fun to wait for someone to come off a ride by yourself.

60. How did you get one of your scars? I have a 1cm scar on the top of my foot near the ankle. It was during a brilliant move when I decided to ride my aunt's 10-speed bike in flip-flops (previously known as "thongs.") My foot slipped off and the little spikes on the pedal meant to give traction jabbed into my foot.

my shear genius

My hair, I have been told, is very difficult to deal with. It's heavy and there's a lot of it. But it's very fine and straight and is unforgiving to an inexperienced or careless stylist. The base color is a very cool, mousy brown which washes out my pale skin. It was much warmer when I was younger and had more highlights, but five plus years of in-hospital dwelling and general aging has turned it into a very spinstery brunette.

I started getting highlights when I lived in Boston. Someone referred me to this guy. He was a crazy Italian man who was straight. If I had known better, that alone should have sent me running. During the whole highlighting process, he'd whip my head around in horrific angles and start yelling if I moved at all. Every time I went, I'd leave with a neck ache. Over the course of a year or so, my desire of base brunette with a few highlights turned into full-blown blond. That had to stop.

In my last year of living in Boston, I went to someone on Newbury Street. I'm not sure why, but if you're a stylist, and you live in Boston, open up shop on Newbury Street and you'll do fine, regardless of skill. I asked desperately for recommendations for another person to see, and all the answer I ever got was "Just go to Newbury Street." I did. She was ok. A saint compared to Mussolini. I never left feeling thrilled. But I had been traumatized and had little hope of ever finding someone of whom I wasn't scared.

Fortunately for us, we had a built in friend when we came to southern California five years ago. She was born and raised here, and it was only natural that I ask her who did her hair. She referred me to Jen, who had been doing her hair off and on for years.

When I first met her, I was struck by how we were the same age and that she was very fashionable. She could tell I was nervous and asked about what I had been doing (or allowing others to do) to my hair. She was appropriately shocked and sensed my apprehension. The color problem was repaired with the ease of a pro and the cut was perfect. It even grew out well, which is often difficult for my hair, which shows everything.

Getting to see Jen on a quarterly basis during residency hasn't always been easy. I remember leaning forward while she put highlights in the back and actually falling asleep for a bit. Falling asleep under the dryer. Having to stretch my three month intervals to four. Begging her to let me come late and not finishing until 9:30. Every visit allowed her to get to know me better, which gave her a better idea of what I needed my hair to be... pretty much NO maintenance. She learned that I secretly longed to be a deep red color to match my skin and one day, when I told her to do whatever she wanted, she did it. And it was great.

Yesterday I went to see Jen. We did my "summer" look, which means more highlights. If the traditional foil method of highlighting is done with a lot of pieces, my hair turns out chunky. She needed to use a different technique, which she's done before. It's called belliage (belly-azsh) and she takes smaller sections and paints the color on. Less near the root and more at the bottom, much like your hair would behave with natural sunlight exposure. It's something I can tell takes a lot of skill and, let me tell you, this girl's got mad skillz.

Every time I see her, she does something slightly different. Truly creative people can't be asked to do the same exact thing every time. But she always stays within the conservative bounds my profession demands. Occasionally I'll get a little nervous, but it is always fantastic. Now I look forward to getting my hair done. She gets me. She gets my hair. We're so lucky to have found her.

insurance

For a while now, I've been talking about the boards. All the while, on the backburner, are my efforts to get things in order for what is coming after the boards -- real job. Finally, I'm going to have a real job just like all the other responsible adults out there who can contribute to their families!

Yesterday, I completed an application for professional liability insurance. Read malpractice insurance. I made some inquiries with traditional insurance carriers into this in April and was shocked and horrified at the $45,000/yr I would have to fork over when my practice became "fully mature" in 5 years. I would pay $27,000 after three years. I was so shocked and horrified that I took that pot off the burner for a while.

Then I learned that the surgeon I'm going to be working with doesn't use traditional insurance. It's not a fly-by-night gig; this company has an A+ rating. They're different because it's a cooperative run by other physicians. They've made a trust and do rigorous screening to only get the "best" doctors. When you apply, they publish your name in a bulletin that goes to all memebers. That way, if someone recognizes you, they can call the office and say "He's really good," or "I've seen him really treat people rudely and he's not professional." This system helps weed out people who would be more likely to get sued.

The best part about this system is that it really works. And after five years, my yearly rates will be about $25,000. That's less than the traditional carriers after only the three year mark! I submitted my application this morning and will know after the Underwriting Committee meets on the 22nd.

Who knew just wanting to help people not be sick required you to have a small fortune? There are many, many other expenses incurred by doctors just to practice their art. Malpractice insurance is only a part of it. Most people don't really want to hear about it and say things like "Oh, you'll be rolling in it soon enough." But that's not really true anymore. Especially when you start off so deep in a hole from schooling and $12/hr wages during residency. Price of a cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) in the 1950s -- $1200. Price today -- $300. That includes the preop visit and 30 days after the surgery, too.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to start working. But I'm also kinda nervous about the business aspect of it. They don't teach you how to run a small business that labors under heavy regulation in medical school.

need a good week

Last week was pretty weird as far as my summer study and weight loss goals are concerned. Traveling doesn't do one's waistline a bit of good, and I just had to try deep dish pizza when I was in Chicago! I was still a bit jet-lagged from my trip in the beginning of the week, so the whole morning yoga thing didn't happen. Not once. Then we had baseball game tickets more days than not, so extended workouts (over 50 minutes) didn't happen, either. Getting home late from a game makes me not want to get up for an early yoga class. I love baseball games and going to so many is great, but it doesn't help me further my fitness or weight loss goals. Add to that a miscommunication with a friend and a holiday, and I have very mixed reviews about last week.

So far so good for this week. Yes, I realize I'm only half way through Monday, but it's important to get off on the right foot. I got up at 6:00 and managed to make the 6:30 yoga class, which was awesome. I came home and was focused and ready to study. I'm eating well (right stuff, right portions) so far and have plans for a lower body, chest, and abs workout, plus at least 40 min of cardio. We have no baseball tickets for this week because the Angels are out of town and next week is the AllStar break. I need to get through this phase of my studies and move on to the next one already.

Let's face it... if I want to lose 8 pounds and be ready for the boards by the middle of August, I have to maintain the focus of a laser! I can't run out of steam with five weeks to go!