Even in this age of digital shopping, the number of traditional mail catalogs we receive during the holidays increases exponentially. Starting in November, we get multiple catalogs every week. Some of the companies send one every two weeks, I've calculated.
It works, I suppose. I'll be placing a couple of orders from several of them. But when collected in a big pile, it's pretty impressive. This is the pile after I've recycled the duplicates!
December Daily is a project created by the talented Ali Edwards. See her post for day seven here. Go here for an intro to my own journey through December Daily.
Pretty routine day at work. Busy. Working, almost nonstop, til a little after midnight.
I don't know, maybe it's me. But I really think that everyone around here is a little better mood than usual. And I like to think it's the season.
I love how each unit has their own Christmas decorations and tree. The hospital won't let them have lights on, but it's still nice.
One of my favorite trees in on the unit where most of our surgical patients are. To make garland, they took the various armbands we put on people and looped them together. From a distance, it looks like the construction paper chain garland we all made in grammar school. Up close? It says things like, "DNR," "Fall Risk," "Allergies: _____," "Name Alert." The star is made out of the foil sheets from the cafeteria we use to cover our food. I suggesed they get some gauze rolls and have it cascade down the tree like people do with ribbon.
HA.
December Daily is a project created by the talented Ali Edwards. See her post for day six here. Go here for an intro to my own journey through December Daily.
Today was the first day, since this project began, that I was really able to spend some significant time on design and layouts. I really enjoyed the process today. After getting caught up on that, I headed downstairs to finish trimming the tree.
This is the first year, since we've been married, that I've hung all the ornaments by myself. We usually decorate for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving, which works out because D is here for that holiday. But since Thanksgiving was a little earlier than usual, we knew that if we got a tree that early it would be a brown, crispy mess come Epiphany. And with all we crammed into last weekend, we just couldn't fit the ornaments in, too. D will be on the east coast for work this weekend and he didn't want me to have to wait for two whole weeks to enjoy the tree.
But it was weird putting up all the ornaments, that we have gathered together over the years, alone. There are a handful that I have from the first year I moved out of my parents house, almost 20 years ago (one of which I broke). The vast majority are an ecclectic collection of memories that we have amassed over the last 14 years; I can tell you the story behind almost every single one.
That. When you hold a little plastic thing with some color and glitter on it and have your mind fill with a detailed story in the fraction of a second. That's one of my favorite things about Christmas. It's almost like I wasn't really alone, after all.
December Daily is a project created by the talented Ali Edwards. See her post for day five here. Go here for an intro to my own journey through December Daily.
As a usual Tuesday goes, I had a bunch of meetings, starting out with an educational lecture when I got off call, followed by two hours of finance on the trauma department. (Something I need to know more about, so as boring as it sounds, it was very good.) No time for napping, even though I only got about 4 hours of sleep. Home to feed the cats, eat lunch, and to the gym as soon as my stomach settled.
Had an evening committee meeting, followed by something fun: after meeting drinks with one of the other young docs I work with, who is also on the same committee. I arrived at the restaurant bar, only to realize that she brought her husband and we were staying for dinner! Which is great; they're lots of fun. They were disappointed that D wasn't able to come; they often forget that he works in Southern California during the week.
Our quaint downtown Main Street, all pretty for Christmas.
As the conversation evolved over cocktails, Sarah directed us towards Robert's (I changed their names for privacy) horrific bicycling accident that happened almost exactly 7 months ago. Robert is an avid cyclist and was on one of the many 2 lane roads around our small farm town on that fateful May 2nd. As recounted by a witness of the accident, a semi passed Robert. In the wake of turbulence from the semi, Robert lost his balance and went off the side of the road into a sizeable irrigation ditch that was dry. He was wearing a helmet, but that did not prevent him from having a significant traumatic brain injury.
He was transferred from our hospital to a larger trauma center in the region where neurosurgery services were available. He was in a coma and on a ventilator in the ICU. Sarah was by his side from the minute he arrived from the scene and she followed him there. I was working that night, but as soon as I got off work, I drove to that hospital to provide what support I could to Sarah. (She and Robert had recently re-located from the midwest and there was no nearby family.) On my way to the hospital, I stopped at Whole Foods and CVS to pick up snacks and toiletries that I knew she didn't have time to get.
I see ventilated, injured patients in the ICU all the time. But I don't know them. Not what they were like walking and talking. Just as my patients. So it was shocking to see Robert on all the customary ICU monitors, drips, and the ventilator. But my role was not as doctor that day; it was that of a friend, and instead of focusing on the patient, my role was to help Sarah. I happened to be there with her when the neurosurgeon spoke to her for the first time. He was unable to provide much information that I didn't already know: there were no focal lesions and we don't know when he will wake up and what deficits he will have.
It would be an understatement to say that Sarah was not in a good place mentally or emotionally. In fact, I quickly suspected (and she later confirmed) she was suicidal. All she could do was focus on the negatives and the what-ifs, which is hard not to do when the neurosurgon can give no information on prognosis. She would burst into tears on a 30-90 second cycle. In between that, she kept imagning the worst, starting with her believing that if he wakes up at all, he won't love her anymore (thanks a lot, Hollywood).
I knew I had to somehow break the cycle. I tried to make her think of positive things that she could hold onto. The ICU had a posterboard to hang in each patient's room where family could fill out information about the patient and paste photos of and for them, but you only get it if you ask. (Which is stupid; who would think to ask for something like that?) I got one of those. On the back, I wrote something like "Hold onto the positive." But that wasn't enough. It was a trite saying.
My next attempt was something more proactive. I asked for a pen and paper from the nurses. At the top I put "Good Things." I started the list off for Sarah, as a blank piece of paper staring you in the face can be intimidating if you're in the place where she was. I think I filled out three things. One of them, they reminded me at dinner, was "Robert sqeezed Sarah's hand." When I gave her the paper and pen, I gave her firm but gentle instructions: You are to add to this list at least one thing a day. You can add more, but one a day is the minimum. She nodded, folded it and placed it in her pocket. I wasn't sure if I reached her.
I sat with her for a while longer, since she had been alone since the accident occurred. Two other people from our hospital arrived to see how she was doing. We stood outside the ICU (only 2 visitors allowed) and they tried to provide their support. I was able to take them aside and tell them how concerned I was about Sarah and that I was afraid she was suicidal. They tried to point her to positive things, too. Then, she pulled the "Good Things" list out of her pocket and looked at it. She showed it to the other visitors. I had reached her.
After a couple of weeks, Robert was extubated (off the ventilator), out of the ICU and ready for discharge to rehab. Sarah couldn't find a rehab facility nearby that she trusted, so she took him home, where she would have to provide 24/7 care and continue his cognitive therapies. He had significant problems with speech at first, as well as vision. In the last several months, Robert has made significant progress. He still has some problems with inhibition, but he's much further than most experts expected.
As we progressed through dinner, Sarah told me that in those first few days she pulled the Good Things list out of her pocket and looked at it. Holding onto it as the only thread between her and suicide. She then said (with a wink) that she didn't know it was my job to rush to her side to help her but it is from now on! Dinner with the two of them, for his 7 month anniversary of the accident, was her way of trying to thank me for the support I provided in those first days. I'm just happy I was able to help.
For more information about traumatic brain injuries, visit this site. It's a very misunderstood injury with often long-lasting deficits that aren't readily visible.
December Daily is a project created by the talented Ali Edwards. See her post for day four here. Go here for an intro to my own journey through December Daily.
Full day at work today, as many of my Mondays are. We have a large number of patients on the service this morning. Knowing full well how much work we had in front of us this morning, the PA (physician's assistant) and I were kind of dreading the day. That's when I decided to share a video I recently saw on youtube.
Seriously the best part of playing this video was watching the PA and the surgeon who was leaving watch this video. They were crying. Pounding their fists on the table. Rewinding to watch it again. I laughed so hard at them my head hurt. Not a bad start to the day.
The morning was crazy for both of us as we tried to comb through the list of patients and work towards what they needed to get better and get home. This continued after lunch.
D had stayed to finish some lingering chores and do some work and he brought me dinner before he headed south again. So lucky to have a guy who still wants to bring me dinner when I'm at work. Not only that, he finished putting up the lights on the tree (which I can't do because I have a minor contact allergy to pine needles), cleaned the cat boxes, and told me not to do any chores this week. I am to do my memory keeping projects (December Daily and Project Life), hang ornaments, and work.
Did I say I was lucky?
December Daily is a project created by the talented Ali Edwards.
After arriving home late on the first, we didn't sleep in a lot, knowing all the things we wanted to get done this first Sunday of Advent. Looking back on it, I'm amazed at all that we were able to accomplish.
go to church
eat lunch
get Christmas tree (in the rain, no less)
cut base off tree and set up in house to dry while we do the other errands (D)
balance business checkbook (me)
tally items purchased on recent trip, figure out returns (me)
get outside Christmas lights at Costco
return a flower arrangement at Michael's and pick up a few other things
This first day of the month finds me in Orange County, at the end of a couple of days in southern California. It's been ages since I've been able to visit my old stomping ground. Usually when I'm here, I try to catch up with several friends, but they were all either busy or out of town! Figures.
No worries, I occupied myself just fine.
Step one: sleep in. This week wiped me out at work.
Step two:shopping. There is plenty of shopping that I need to do, not just for Christmas purposes, but also because I need some new holiday outfits! A few holiday parties and a black tie event for New Year's Eve is too taxing for my currently available wardrobe. We have the most pitiful excuse for shopping around me now, so I have to travel to do any serious shopping. I located my NYE outfit this year at BCBG at Fashion Island. Love that place for formalwear. Also made a good dent in Christmas shopping. Check.
Step three:delayed birthday dinner. My birthday was November 24th; who wants to go out to eat a big meal two days after Thanksgiving? Certainly not me. Ugh. We often end up moving my birthday dinner because of that. Better to save it when I can go to an awesome restaurant; so many to choose from in Orange County!
Step four: have photo taken for Club membership directory. I am an out of town member at a great club and they want everyone to take their photo with a photographer for their new directory. I thought I would have to email them a picture of me without D, but the day that I arrived there was a photo session. Now there will be a pic of me and D in there and it will match the style/background of all the other photos!
Of course, I didn't do all of that on December 1st. That was all crammed into 2.5 days. hee.
Here we are, in another December. The last two Christmas seasons have not gone at all the way I hoped. Two years ago, we had just bought a house in November and we were still all jumbled and rushed by the time Christmas got here. (Where the heck is the star cookie cutter?!?) Last year, we had more drama than I like, so that detracted significantly from my festive spirit. I tried to make the best of it, but there was a lot of drama that needed to be managed, tamed, and handled.
This year, things are back to some degree of normalcy and I'm really looking forward to the holidays. So I've decided to embark on a month long memory keeping project created by Ali Edwards called December Daily. A story a day for the month of December. Because, let's face it, even without drama going on, this month is jam-packed full of activities. So much so that by the time Christmas gets here, many of us (me included) are left wondering where the heck we were as the days ticked by on the calendar. I've had dozens of beautiful holidays but I can remember no specifics as far as what year that memory occurred or when that funny event happened. Even the years that have been stressful and dramatic have had plenty of good moments that often got overshowered by the issues of the hour.
December Daily is very clearly the answer to this problem. And I'm super excited about it. SUPER. EXCITED.
Lots of people are posting their pages daily on their blog. I've contemplated doing that, but decided against it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, with as busy as I've been and as far behind on Project Life as I am, I simply can't budget any extra time taking photos and uploading those to the blog.
Secondly, I'm kind of embarrassed to do so. Not because of the photos themselves, but because of my unabashed, flat-out copying of Ali Edwards and Maggie Homes (from the Studio Calico class) that I have done for my album. I can be creative, but it takes an inoordinat amount of time and my product is never as stylish as I would like. I always feel like something is missing from my designs. Here are two professionals who have great, inspirational pages. Being creative like that is such a struggle, but I love using my hands. (So much so that I have chosen a profession where I can do just that every time I'm at work.) Give me a template, a list of instructions, a how-to. Let me stay within the lines and I'm happy. Aside: my sister is super creative; where is my share of that gene??
If it's already been designed and posted, why go to all the effort of posting the same darn thing here? Right. Waste of time.
I'll use this space to record some stories throughout the month (hopefully). So I don't forget. So I can add to my projects. So I can finally say that I've captured December.
I love traveling and generally being out of the house. It's part of my Sagittarius nature. Experiencing the world around me that's different than the usual world around me. There is so much out there to explore and learn about and I want to see it all. Maybe even the good parts twice.
I've been fortunate enough to do lots of traveling this fall. First to Dawn's wedding in Virginia in late September. A month later, to South Carolina for a trauma conference. After spending a few days home, off again earlier this month for vacation (and a little campaigning) in Florida. And it has been a blast.
Yet, I realize I need some down time. Some home time. Some routine.
Piles of mail and surgical journals have stacked up on my kitchen island. (I've managed to pull out bills and pay them but the rest...)
I'm sorely behind in Project Life. I anticipated this and signed up for Becky Higgins' class "Project Real Life," hoping this would keep me more on track. But it hasn't and somehow I feel doubly behind (yes, I realize the number of weeks is the same).
I haven't touched my French lessons in weeks.
How could I have possibly gotten out the habit of going to the gym?!?
The holidays are looming frighteningly close on the horizon and I'm no where near ready for them. Six weeks ago, I vowed to myself that I would be better prepared for them this year so I could truly enjoy them without being so stressed. I fear that will not happen.
This weekend, it's time to buckle down. Get shit done. Get organized. Get my routine on.
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